Fear Can Be So Breath Taking When Conquered

God knew in our fear that facing it would be breath taking.  I experienced this today.  I thought I was going on a little hike and it turned out to be more of a mountain climbing experience to me, with holding on to rocks, limbs and roots and mossy wet rock just to continue to move along one foot in front of another.  I can't help but relate this to my walk with Christ.  On the way back I was thriving.  Conquering fear had produced confidence and strength. It was exhilarating.  I was ignited within my being.  It was life within me.  On the way toward the falls after every landing I would say, "I am not doing this".  My friends would go along and I would sit there and wait and think I can't let them leave me.  Surely I can do this.  I would look down, taking one step at a time, sliding and grabbing ahold of whatever was near me. 

 Then I was there.  It was breath taking.  At the point of the climax of seeing the still water, fall and hit into a pond with a never ending force that literally sprayed my face with the after effects of the impact of one dynamic water hitting and merging into another.  They had become one.  As my Father and I become one.  All I could do was lay with face up and my back down in the moss and dirt upon the huge rocks, beside the trees looking into, through the leaves into the Son and me beside the waterfall and listen.  Listen to the force that was beside me and to the whisper of His voice.  I worshiped.  How could I not?   He was so ever present.  He was in it all.  He surrounded me and enveloped me.  I was secured and comforted and loved.  I had peace.  The things and the person I had longed for was here with me.  Never leaving.  Never stop loving me and filling me with the abundance that is beyond comprehension and understand.  He just is.

He is relentless and takes my passivity and impacts my very life with suffering and shame and guilt and selfishness and turns it into love.  He brings me into places I would never go to do what I could never do.  He turns my blindness into sight, my fear into courage, my self righteousness into dying for others.  I am amazed where does this joy and peace come from.  The absolute beauty of it all, it filters my very being.  I am united.  I am grafted in.  He and I are one, never separable, never to part but to be in oneness in relationship by the Spirit never to leave me no matter how far I run.  His very being was divided, Father and Son, so that I would never be kept  from Christ, the Father, through the Spirit that lives in me, no matter what my sin, my fear, my doubt.  He is with me.  Where can I go dear Lord that you are not there?  You take my breath away.