Need to Replenish

You will always have the poor among you but you do not always have me.  Matt 26:11, Mark 14:7, John 12:8

God calls us to be alone with Him no matter what else is going on in our world.  He wants to be first in our hearts and our lives.  He wants to be the lover of our souls, our sustainer, our strength, our wisdom and source of Love.

Need to replenish.

The newly planted flowers are now needing watering. I hate to water. The fresh cut flowers in my house are dying and I have to throw them away. My lovely china my family has given me and I enjoyed entertaining with this week needs to be put away. The kitchen is now in a mess. Left over lunches need to be thrown away and pots scrubbed. My clean floors have paths of mud running through them from the farm of muddy weather and the guys forgetting to take their boots off. The laundry is being done from just a few days ago is pilling up. It must be finished washing, clothes folded and put away. Ordinarily I would be overwhelmed but not this time. I know what has to be done and where my strength is to do it one step at a time. I need Jesus. I need Grace.

So is my Spiritual Life. I have had a quiet time in the morning, reading, a little worshiping, a little listening, giving out to those I love and have just met. Now I cannot go on. I need hours, days of quiet with the Lord. My life is really good right but my need for grace has not diminished. I need God and I miss Him. When I was in a suffering struggle I sought Him first. He did not get the left overs. I spent days in His presence and meditating and just being. It is so easy to go on your own strength when you are such a strong person like me. I know I am weak but deep within me I want to say I can do this. I can make this happen if I just work hard enough. I spent 17 years not being able to do a thing apart from Christ. Now for seven months I am doing well and I am ready to go it on my own. There are still people to meet with, work to be done, things to be learned. Jesus said the poor will with you always do you seek me. (my words)

I am going to church tomorrow, then to lunch with a friend. Then I am putting everything I can on hold until I hear from God I can move on except leisure time with others. I am going to soak in His presence and His love for me. I am going to be quiet as much as I can through out my day. I am going to take walks, work in the garden and take pictures and read and sleep, listen to music, writing and worship all throughout my day, catch up at home I am going to be renewed by the grace of God. He is drawing me to such a place as this. I cannot resist Him nor do I want to. I long for solitude. It may sound weird to you but the other night I stopped on my way home from an appointment and had dinner alone, just me and Jesus. I didn't know what to say to Him. I felt distant and my mind drifted. He wants me to return to my first love and I am, by His grace alone.

I think He is wanting to teach me something new, exciting and major. I thought of trying to get away just by myself and him but I am going to try it here and see. I think He wants to show me the way He wants me to go in many things. I think He wants to just enjoy me and me Him. How to love and accept myself so I can love and accept others the way God loves Himself and us both. I think He wants to heal me. I want to know His heart on this and He is calling me away. Away to a place where I can hear His heart, hear His voice and search the scripture. I am so humbled He would do this for and with me. I am excited beyond words at the anticipation of what this time will be like. I know this is where I am to be and to do. Like the times of me in the valley and drinking from the stream of grace that goes down hill. I long to be overcome, full to the fullness of God, to drink in His mercy and Grace and His love. To overflowing, abundant, refreshment, liberty, life, hope, strength, wisdom, love, joy, peace, compassion, repentance, forgiveness. Going forward to live in the present of Him being all I truly need.

I will be posting and bringing you along side me. I don't know if this will be a day or a week. Whatever it takes, resisting the pull of the world, He is coming first.