Hope deferred...my heart was sick.

My hope was almost gone.  It was at an all time low for me and those I love.  I had no strength. I seemed to be getting no better.  The pain and the swelling, even sedation continued.  I was hard pressed on all sides, seemly no place to turn to fix myself...I had lost sight of how big God is and how small I am...

I surrendered.

The Spirit then led me to a study about hope and faith and the promise of the new earth.  It all fit together. Jesus was about to rescue me even though  I had lost faith in the things that were.  I did not realize my faith should be in the things to come.  It was a revelation and truth from Gods word.  These truths have given me life.  There is power in Gods word to His children.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Now faith is the things hoped for, the things not seen.

Have you ever heard someone say...I don't care?  It doesn't matter?  This is a 

lack of faith.  They have lost hope, lost faith.  Even as believers we can lack 

faith.  Not saving faith in that Jesus has died for our sins but faith in living for

Him.

At the time these words come to our mouths we have lost faith in our 

circumstances to be as we want them to be.  We have lost sight that our 

Story was already written before time.  That the things promised to us will

come to past.  We have lost sight that God never lies and He keeps His promise

to use all things for our good and His glory.  This is hope, faith.  God will bring

to pass all He has promised.  Our inheritance, our sanctification, us becoming

like Jesus.  

God will give us what Satan has stolen, I believe. Threefold.  Satan wants us to believe God is not good and He does not love us.  We get caught in sin and he tells us we are ok.  We are free and we can do what we want.  Then when we do sin he tells us we are defeated. That God is angry with us.  That we might even lose our eternal salvation.  All a lie from the pit of hell. The focus is always on us and not Jesus love, power and freedom that is ours to do His will.

Jesus is bringing...

 the new earth and redeeming those we love and ourselves.  He is righting 

our wrongs.  He is using it all for His glory.

He rescues us and redeems us.  He does not give us things in our lives that we 

cannot handle with His help.  No temptation is too great for our God.  At times these very 

things that seem too much for us is because we are relying on ourselves.


When we get depressed, dishearten we have gotten our eyes on ourselves and 

our circumstances.  We are sick.  Our hope is deferred.  We are at the center of our world.  

Not God.  

We don't believe how very much God loves us and desires to bless us.  We have lost sight 

of His promise to give back and make right all things in our lives and our world.  As we trust 

Him we step out in ways we never have before believing that our God is mighty 

to save.  Mighty to rescue us and deliver us from bondage.  We are not orphans

but children of the most mighty Father.  Who owns the whole world and

everything in it.  He is taking back from evil what is His.   He delights to give us good 

gifts.  Gifts of the Spirit and even things we never imagined.  He wants us content 

and happy in His presence.  He wants us living in the power of the gospel.  The 

same Spirit and its power that raised Christ from the dead lives in us.  

Empowering us to live way beyond what...

we can do on our own.  It is all ours for the asking and believing it is true.  We have not

because we ask not.  We are safe are those who trust in God.  Our faith is assured 

because of His faithfulness.  We will not turn back in the end but persevere 

because the story...

has been written...

 It is finished.  

So we look to the future. That which has not happened or been seen and this

hope is our faith.  We will receive the crown of life.  Life abundant here on 

earth and eternal life with our God.  It is His mercy and kindness that sees us 

through hard times.  He never leaves us nor forsakes us.  There is nowhere

we can run that we are not with Him.  He woos us back from harm of turning

away and going our own way to repentance and faith.  When we fall short...He

then brings us back to a greater understanding of His love, who we are in Him

and we trust Him even more.  Nothing is lost.  Nothing....Our hope is restored, redeemed

Once again we worship the King.  Our hearts are full and love overflows to Him and

to others.  We are strengthen in His might.  He is our eternal hope.

I was so down and out as I would look at my mistakes and my depression of the past.  I 
have seen how God has used those years to restore the years the locus have eaten even
in the lives of my family but the pain of it all remains.  Jesus feels the pain I feel.  The tears are not wiped away yet.  Eventhough He meets me in the midst of it all It does not wipe away the reality of what I did not do through all those years.  The pain my family suffered because of my lack of living and not escaping reality remains with me.


Satan would love me living in shame and guilt.  But God has

used it to increase my faith that He will bless me and my family no matter what.  I live in the 

blessings of unearned favor.  In the hope of the future to live in the present and 

step out in faith; although I will go throughout my life with a limp to remind me

my Savior is not without compassion.  He came for sinners like me.  I think this 

has made me afraid to make a wrong decision because I see the consequences.

Trusting in God and not myself has nothing to do with the pain I have caused.  It will remain.

A Heart for God, Out of the heart the mouth speaks

Over the last few years I became aware of the condition of my heart.  God tells us He has taken out the heart of stone and given us a heart of flesh.  We can have the heart God has for others and for Him.  Our heart of flesh can be deceitful.  But our new heart is beautiful and filled with the will of God and His goodness and beauty.

God tells us that He wants our whole heart.

He tells us that out of the heart the mouth speaks.  Even if you were like I was and stuffed many things...it will come out.  Have you ever thrown up past wrongs to someone...even someone you loved?  I have and been so sorry of it later.  It was stored up past hurts in my heart.  That had turned bitter and angry.  I tried to keep a level balance to myself and my life.  Being happy all the time.  But the things I had not worked out with others.  The things I had not taken to God.  Came out and cause damage to those I love.


I try to keep a short account wrongs done to me and the sin as a result, in my heart.  Some might even think I am in sincere because I change.  Going to the Lord and the Spirit with the wrong motives of my heart is how I live.  I have learned that I can't pretend or change my own heart.

Asking the Spirit and the Lord to search me and show me if there is any wrong ways in me it the way God has shown me this is the way, I must live.  I don't have to share everything with everyone but sharing with a wise, trusted  friend for wisdom can help.  They can show you where you are not trusting God and give you wisdom.  Even then the things that comes out of my heart to the Lord is what is stored up in my heart.


The Spirit changes us from the inside.  What you have in your heart will come out.  When I noticed that I have sin in my heart I ask for the gift of repentance.  Asking others to forgive you is healing for you both.  It changes from my flesh to the very heart of God.  I am different.  My anger and other sins of the heart is thrown as far as the east is from the west and remembered no more.  I have a love for others that I can not muster up myself.  I love even those that are different from me.  Those I struggle to see their side or what their choices are that maybe I would not chose.  My predigest are broken down and I am chief of all sinner, forgiven and loved.  I am a saint of the most High God.

We are told we should not bless and praise God and curse or yell, you might say, to others.  This just should not be so.  So what do we do?  How do we change.  I have mentioned going to the Spirit to change us but we can also do other things to help the condition of our heart,

We can self talk.  Tell ourselves who we are in Christ.  The truths of the gospel.  That Jesus loves us so much He died for us.  That the Father chose us and gave us to His Son.  We are His children.  He delights and rejoices over us.  We are to reject the thoughts of the flesh and the devil and draw near to God.  He will draw near to you.


The other thing we can do is store His word in our hearts by daily meditating on His word.  Meditating on these things...

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

  Gods word is powerful and it can change us.  Beginning and ending our day in His word is a way to keep the thoughts and words of our mouths sincere and good.  Even just a verse or two.  That usually leads me to look up more and more verses.  I love doing this.


Spending time talking to God all throughout my day helps me.  Being in His presence and the presence of the Holy Spirit.


Worship is a great way to change the heart from complaining to gratitude.  You can't worship God and complain about the live He has given you at the same time.  Being thankful in all things is the life of the christian that trust in God.  Worship can do this for you and honor God at the same time in worship.


Surrender is another way.  Surrendering your life and your heart, those you love and struggle with is trusting God as sovereign over all.  Faith is a way to rid you of fear.  Trusting God and His promises to you keeps your heart from anxiety and depression in many cases.   If you struggle here again, surrender with the surrender of Jesus.  Ask the Spirit.

Self righteousness is a struggle I have had for years.  Seeing the sins of my heart and how dependent I am on the Spirit to change me has helped me see...I am just like the other person or worse.

We all need healing to guard our hearts.  The result of wounds and wrongs can cause sin in our heart if we are not realizing that by His wounds we are healed.  Having someone pray over and with us as we go to the Lord with our wounded, broken heart brings love and hope and joy.




I would love to hear the ways you guard your heart.  The struggles you might have in blessing and building others up.  I think of myself as an encourager.  I think it is because I need encouraging so much.  I struggle some times with having hope.  But I must remember my hope is in Jesus and not others, my circumstances or me.  God uses us in our weakness.  Confess them to Him.