GOD LOVES TO SHOW HIMSELF FAITHFUL, IN SEEMINGLY, IMPOSSIBLE SITUATIONS...
THIS MORNING AS I WOKE...I felt so bad. My head was throbbing and my body hurt. My thoughts were not clear. My attitude stunk. I was not thankful. Many of the struggles were the same as they have been for a couple of weeks now. Especially in the morning.
I searched my heart and confessed my sin...What came to me was so sweet. I am not a burden for God. I cast my fears and burdens to the cross. He has brought me to a place of dependence on Him. I am learning to rest in His promises. Learning to trust His word is true. Only He can rescue me.
I opened our junk drawer and thought...this is impossible. It reminded me God loves to work in the impossible for man. I am still working on that drawer lol.
Yesterday I was to go to a pottery class. It was really hard for me to commit and go. I have backed out of so many things in the past. I was looking for examples in my experience of God being the Potter and us the clay. As I turned the wheel and pressed firmly onto the clay, to get the shape I wanted...there was a clump of clay that had worked its way up to the top. My teacher broke it off. She said this is dead clay. It reminds me of dead works I have done for me and not in faith, for God's glory. Of trusting in things other than Him to save me.
I think of how the intentions of our heart move to our thoughts and actions for us to confess and repent to God. Only God can bring true repentance. We are told the love of God brings us to repentance.
I learned in my class, it took me pressing in with my whole body through the care of my hands. We are to press in, lean on Jesus. It was such fun! We can experience God in everything we do. He delights in us.
He may not heal my broken mind,
He may not give you the marriage you always wanted,
He may not turn your rebellious teen,
Give you the job of your dreams,
but He wants to bring worship from the heart to Himself. It is glorifying to Him and it is where I am most happy. The enemy cannot coexist with our worship to God.
This morning, I ask for Jesus heart, mind, and will. His surrender. I have great joy, but it is His joy. Him living through me. Jesus calls me to give up my plans. He has something better for me. Himself.
It is an illusion that I can fix anyone else, let alone me. It is my self-reliance to think otherwise.
I have prayed hard prayers. That God would use my illness for His glory. No matter how bad it got. That my children would love Him no matter what it took. Many years ago before I got sick, I prayed God I want to know you and the power of your resurrection. What was I thinking uggh! I believe it was Jesus prayer for me.
When I suffer, I think...How did you also suffer Jesus? How is Jesus in this suffering. He is always working for our good. When the thoughts come that I don't want, I search my heart. I ask the Spirit to search me oh Lord. Most of the time I confess them...I resist the devil and cling to God and He draws near. When I despair I think of the disciples that despaired over Jesus death. I cling to His righteousness. For it is truly all I have. Jesus meets me. Even when I don't feel His presence I know He is living inside me.
When I have moved from imagining who I wanted Jesus to be, to searching for the only one true God. It was a lonely, scary place.
He is moving me beyond my comfort. Beyond my control. He is teaching me that I back away from doing the hard thing. I see my part is to take a small step of faith.
As we move beyond our walls of comfort into the unknown God meets us there. When I think of the ones in the bible like Abraham, Jonna, Mary, Ester, Joseph, the prodigal, and even Jesus Himself. God moved them into the unknown. Beyond their world of comfort and familiar.
I sought knowledge. As good as this can be it is not wisdom. God confuses the proud. Paul, who was full of wisdom and knowledge declared to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified. The whole bible flows out of this...
These are the hands of some of the ladies in my class.
This is my first class. I had lots of good help.
God is so faithful. He has shown me that in my fears I sin. I have thought I had to fight the fears. Evil has no hold on me. He is keeping me with His everlasting arms. I am safe with Him. He is purifying my worship. He is redeeming me for His splendor.