Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, 46 and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
I have been thinking a lot about how to glorify God in the midst of pain.
There is some quote that life is not about avoiding the storm but learning to dance in the rain. I have danced in the rain before. I was pretty sick. I think Danny was around on the farm somewhere. I just went out in the middle of the back yard and danced around and around in the rain.
The pearl is formed by a grain of sand that is buried in the shell. It is through the irritation that this beauty exist. Cracking open the ugly, hard, shell a treasure is found. A pearl. Pain is my grain of sand. It has been my biggest enemy and my best friend. My most dreaded circumstance my greatest gift. I have denied it, been depressed from it, ran from it, been fearful of it, tried to find comfort for it, tried to control it, been isolated and protected from it to actually feeling it and experiencing the hell of it where there is loneliness, tears, questions, doubt and fear. It has broken through the tuff exterior of protection I built around my heart. It has stripped me from the things that dangerously captivated, enslaved my heart and profoundly driven me to the very heart of God.
I feel myself reaching beneath, in the center, deep within the ugliness of the pain and suffering to the where the heart of God is waiting to unite with mine in wholeness, oneness, healing and beauty. In complete absoluteness. There is a shelter in the storm. In the stillness in the eye of the storm. Where His heart meets mine. The touch. Where I am radically abandoned, consumed, emerged in Him by His Spirit. Where the longing for love is satisfied and rewarded with Himself. It is a mystery. A treasure. It is grace. There you will find joy and peace and rest. There is life.
He sacrificed it all for us, His bride, His beauty, His treasure so we could sacrifice all that has a hold on our heart for His. We leave it all behind that entices and allures us from Him. We see it as fake, selfrighteous and prideful in the self reliance and strength of our independence from Him. He exposes the lies and the illusions that have so blinded us and made us think we can save ourselves to saving us from ourselves unto Him. He whisk us away to a world of risk, uncertainty, thrilling, adventuresome, loveliness and freedom. Where we have wings and courage and trust in Him. I see I will have pain in this life but my heart is safe, loved and secure in Him. We discover what true love is and how it is received and given away. It becomes a yearning of our hearts. It becomes the desire of our hearts. He gives that desire to us in fulfilling ways we never dreamed.
His beauty is revealed in us and He is glorified.