Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I'm Back Home


                               Deep Unto Deep

Not only have I been hurt, but I have hurt.  Most of us have.  When you ask God for a deep unto deep existence with Him, when we pray for God to move us to a greater love for Him and others, when you want more of Christ life through you and less of you, it usually calls for pain and suffering.  It feels like you are dying and you are.  I am experiencing it.  Easter is becoming a reality in a deeper way than it ever has before.  

Laying face down before the throne of God I wait.  I wait for the resurrection unto life in Him.  I wait for the work of the Spirit to be done in my heart.  I was before God for three days trying to find life. My peace and joy was gone.  I didn’t sense His love for me.  My heart was hard, then stoic.  I knew He would rescue me, I just didn’t know when and how.  I prayed... I feel my hands slipping down your arms.  Grab hold of me.  Please Father, don’t let me go.

Hours later....

 God’s love brought me to a change of heart.  My last instances, I have seen, without the restrains of the Holy Spirit in a particular area, I am no different that the one I condemn.  This is not to excuse sin but to love better, deeper, bolder, gentler and with truth.  It is to move me to action, to waiting, speaking, listening and trusting the One who has the final say in it all.

In the fall my husband cut back our shrubs.  They had gone wild and crazy.  Just now they are beginning to show signs that they are alive.  I had gotten prideful.  Something had to be done by the One that loves me unto death, His and mine.

I have a home.  It is not in this world.  It is in the recesses of the heart of God. It is where the Prince of Peace is, where joy is found.  It is in the heavens but we can experience this mighty Love here on earth now, not to the full measure it will be when we see Him face to face.  But more than we can contain in this life.  It is for each one of us. It deepens and deepens as into an ocean with no floor.  There is a beauty of life and colors and forms and wonders within the ocean, that we do not see.  We cannot see until we dive into it’s deep waters.  We cannot stay there but for a time.  We can enter a world beyond anything we have ever known.  It is possible to go there, through the Spirit of God the Father and Son living with us, just being in us.  He has a work to do in our hearts and He is relentless.  He wants us to move out of this world of darkness into the world of light.  He wants us to experience the beauty.  He wants us to experience Him.

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