Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Fear and Trembling

I am writing asking for your help again.
I don't know how many of you know but in this area my husband is a well respected public figure. He was a coach of a very successful college football team. With that there were things I was called to do. Some of those were I met very important people, the president of the US for instance, several of them. But as for me, I was on television, gave interviews to the newspaper, magazines. I spoke to Churches, womens groups, and other christian organizations. I did this fearlessly. I knew my stuff and I did what I needed to do with grace and poise. Many times in our home with our children.
Since then God has stripped me of my self sufficiency and dependence on myself. I have seen that I am unreliable. That the only trustworthy strength I have is Jesus. My dependence and faith is no longer in myself but in Him.
Since this time I spoke one time to an FCA Fellowship of Christian Athletics adult group. I was a terrible failure. I went blank. I was afraid and had many other things on my mind. I spoke for about 3 minutes and sat down. I have not spoken sense to a group.
I have been ask to speak to a small group of women on hearing Gods voice. If there is one thing God has taught me it is to hear His voice. I should feel very comfortable conveying these truths to these women. But I am not. I am scared. Scared of failure. This is a very safe place with friends who love me. But I don't want to go. But I can't not go because God is calling me in my heart to do it. More than anything in this world I want to do what my Lord wants me to do.
So I need you. I need you to pray for me. For strength in my weakness. For first to have time in intimate relationship with the Lord. Then to hear him and prepare with clarity and simplicity of the gospel. THe Spirit living in us. I can be complicated and deep. This needs to be out of the faith of a child hearing the voice of a father or mother. I am doing this in faith and dependence on God. It is more than speaking to a small group of women. It is me facing my fears of failure and leaning on the one who is sending me. Please pray I speak with the power and authority of one loved by God. His child.

No comments:

Post a Comment

He placed HIs love on me. It is that love that is seeing me through...

Dear friends I have prayed for you many times that you may not lose heart. Phil 4:13 Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through a...

"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7