Monday, February 17, 2014

Enjoy the ride...

Exodus 32:12 I know you by name and you have found favor with me.

Still I remember the day he told me and how I felt.  Danny said, I will be coaching the college all star game again this year.  I will be gone next week.  My heart sank.  I didn't tell him why I just began to talk about how bad the weather was to be the coming week.  

Then I let it out...I don't have a really good track record of being my myself.  I remembered back to the time he took our son to a National Roping in Colorado.  I was dead sick mentally by the time he got back.  It is not that I am afraid to be alone or get lonely.  I enjoy time by myself.  But I get introverted, introspective and obsessed over things.  What could I do this time for it to be different.

Danny explained to me that our son, Lee, who lives in another house on the farm would be here to take care of me.  My doctor has told me not to spend one whole day in the house alone and not getting out, if even I had to walk to the mail box.

The first day alone came and the snow was coming down hard.  I snuggled in and began to read, what I love doing.  I read nearly all day.  My mind was taxed and I knew at the end of the day I could not have another day like this, even though I enjoyed it so much.  I went to Lees and had dinner with he and Sarah, his finance.

The next day I decided I would do things that were physical.  I worked around the house doing clothes, dishes, cleaning the pantry, took a walk and again went to my sons.  I felt better and knew I was on the right track.  I began to feel sorry for intentional I have to be about my health.

The weekend came and I was full of energy.  Had much grace.  I went to lunch on Friday, had an appointment, went to the ball game with friends and family, then to dinner.  I have been trained for many months on how to set my limits for myself but paid no attention.  Saturday I went to lunch and  went with a friend for awhile.  Then Saturday night Danny and I went to a friends for dinner.  I had been up until 1:00 the night before and was into the night Saturday.  I had so wanted to go to lunch and Church with Danny on Sunday but woke up with a bad headache and slept through out the day.  I had not listened to the Spirit and had not done what I needed to do to take care of myself.

We had such fun with family and friends at the game.  More than I had ever had in the past.

Jordan, our grandson posing for me lol.

Jodan and our daughter Elizabeth at dinner after the game.

We had a great dinner with friends for valentines.

Sunday, I looked at the trophies on the wall and remembered...I remembered all I use to do before a game...Have dinner with the staff and their families, have recruits and their families to the house, make contact with the media so they might write a favorable article on Sunday, and many times have the team over to the house after a win.  That is if there wasn't traveling to an away game.  I knew no limits.  I came to a point of burnout over the years.

If I could speak to coaches wives today I would tell them you can't keep your husbands job for him.  Set back, love your husband and children and others and enjoy the ride.  It can be amazing.  Don't sweat the small not worry about tomorrow.  Today has enough troubles of it's own.  Tomorrow with take care of itself.

But now I have limits.  I had them then, before when Danny was coaching full time.  I just didn't know it.  Can I learn to accept my limits but at the same remember God has no limits.  Can I be more concerned with what it is God really wants me to do than pleasing people?  We went for the moon before, but now God has created the moon.  His limitlessness goes on and on and is evident in His creation. It is evident and proof in the cross that God is limitless in what He will and can do in and for us what He chooses.  He is amazing.  I may can do only a certain amount of things at a time now but the God of creation, the God who knows no limits lives in me and can accomplish so much with the little I have to offer.  All I can do is give Him myself.  Learn to enjoy the life and people He has given me and Him.  Love Him and others selflessly.  Learn to appreciate myself and accept me for me, knowing God has fearfully and wonderfully made me and He knows me and I have favor with Him.  That He loves me and can work wonders even in my limits because He knows none.  So here I am 64 learning what this life is all about.  Wanting God to use me and work in me His good pleasure.  Holly Gerth said, "Even our limitations can't stop the limitless God in us.  God knows you and has created you for a purpose and created good works before time to accomplish those in you.  So you can set back and you can enjoy the ride.