His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
11 the Lord delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.
How do I choose to live this day? You cannot be angry or upset, if you like that word better, at someone and not have a hard heart toward the Lord. You cannot compartmentalize your heart. You cannot open one part of your heart and shut the other part off. How do I choose to live this day.
I have had a medicine change. I was drugged, tired and discouraged. How my medicine was affecting me was affecting my hope, my heart. What was I trusting in? Who was I trusting in.
Another time another place this day of discouragement, of struggling in relationships and my circumstances would have put me to bed for 3 days. But this day I decided I would trust in the Lord. I would fear God Almighty. To fear God is not to be scared of Him but to be in awe of who He is and what He has done.
I decided not to give in, give up but to persevere. To press on in my relationships and living life. I went to dinner with my husband and to my sons roping and had a great time. I chose life.
I have noticed I am impatient. I don't like to wait in long lines. I like my food fast and quick. I cannot compartmentalize my heart. I must also be impatient with God. Wanting Him to work quickly in me, my heart and the hearts of others. Am I willing to persevere through, to press on, to live life or do I want to give up as I did once before? Am I willing to wait but not a passive wait but an active wait. A living of life.
We tend to be an all or nothing people. We give it our all but if things don't work out according to our plans we give up or stop loving or doing for that person or at that task at hand. But to press on when you don't get the results you expect or want when you want it or think it should happen or maybe the task is harder than you expect it would be, to continue to complete is perseverance.
Yesterday across the back pasture of the farm I saw six deer running across the pasture. I wish I had a picture for you. They had heads forward, leaping and running across the path with no fear. They knew where they were going and nothing was stopping them. It was a picture to me of how I could and would be in Christ with Him as my focus. I am to never give up. I persevere with His perseverance.
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
My feet were, are to be as hinds feet. To set on high places. To set my feet upon a rock and press on. I was not to give up, give in but to press into my Lord and Savior who is in charge of my day. Who is teaching me at every point to be more like Jesus. Suffering produces perseverance I know this is one thing He was teaching me through this medicine change. How to keep on keeping on but not a drudgery but with joy and peace and enjoying Him and others.
Love is patient 1 Corinthians 13. To love God and love others I must be patient and not shut off my heart to others and to God. To be open and vulnerable to Gods plan for my life is a hard thing when you are weak. But to be honest in the face of weakness and to lean on Him for my strength, to just take the next step in faith, is a place of courage. It is a confident meekness. A confident humility in Him and that He is my hope. Do I know Gods unfailing love. Do I trust it? Do I trust Him?