The Ebb and Flow of the Tide

I am sitting in an ocean front house.  The view is breathtaking.  Oh it is gray and fixing to storm.  The waters are getting high.  But I just am in awe of God how he keeps this world going.  How He keeps our hearts.  The waves keep pulling toward the shore one after another, never stopping.  Much like His grace to me.  It continually pours to my heart, soul and mind, whether I deserve it or not.  It just is because God is who He is.  The tide moves in and out over the course of the day.  Such does my heart to the Lover of my soul.  The separation is so painful.  There is an ache, a void, a feeling of me rejecting Him, never Him rejecting me.  He knows this and lets me go just so far out and then he brings me back to His heart in a deeper, richer, fuller way than before.  It is like being away from Him makes coming back to Him better than I remembered His love for me.  It is much like lovers who quarrel and then come back together.  They have worked through things that was bothering them.  Things that drove them apart for a time.  But when they come together, they are more in love than before the argument.  Things that troubled their hearts are resolved.  They treasure each other more and love each other deeper than thought possible.  Then they trust their heart to each other even more.  Forgiveness is rich and total and complete.  Hearts are restored and strengthened, united.

The Lord knows there are obstacles in our heart that keep us from giving ourselves totally to Him.  That keep us wandering away.  That is why He lets us go.  He lets us feel the distance, the loneliness that we will desire and long for Him in a deeper way.  Then as we come back to His heart we surrender more of ours.  I wonder if there is a time where we are completely surrendered in this life to His will for us.  If we were we would never sin and we will struggle with sin until we meet Him face to face.  Our flesh will continue to fight against His Spirit within us.  I don't think our flesh gets any better but our Spirit gets stronger maybe.  I am not sure I understand it.  We do become more like Christ, the Husband and best Friend to us.  The closer we get to Him the more we see that our hearts are not pure like His.  We see the flesh in us.  But we have a new heart.  It is the very heart of Christ.  The more we trust it and lean into Him I believe the weaker our flesh becomes.  It is not that we don't have all of Christ it is that we keep giving Him more and more of us.  It is His love and faithfulness and holiness, His goodness, His character that draws us into the chambers of His heart.  We are naked in our Spirits as we hide nothing from Him.  He knows it all.  We are like Adam and Eve before Him before sin and the covering.  He provides a covering for us.  It is His robe of righteousness that covers our sin.  That is what He sees.  The perfect righteousness of His Son, not our sin.

Holy God we come to you as your bride, clothed in the righteousness we cannot achieve but can receive.  In the love you love us with.  Speak to our hearts that we know you as never before.  We trust you.  May our Spirit unite with you and we become one with you in heart and mind and will and Spirit.  Thank you for never letting us go so far away from you that you do not bring us back.  It is good to be back with you Lord near your heart.  Thank you for never leaving me although I stray.  I am like Hosea's wife, I go to other lovers, idols of the heart.  Only you can satisfy my deepest longings, not people, circumstances, ministry, material possessions, health, beauty, knowledge, family, friends, counselor or a husband.  Just you.