I have just gotten through walking almost 4 mils. and going to go to lunch with a friend. Then getting ready for the grands to come next week. Finishing writing the preface to the devotional book and planning for the forum for women, praying about doing an on line bible study with young moms, planning meeting with the volunteer lady from shalom Tues.
I know this is silly but I am crying now. I take a shower, put on makeup, somedays not much, but I get dressed everyday. I remember when I couldn't get out of bed and wouldn't shower for days on end or change clothes. I would go to AA meetings in the same clothes I had slept in and even had on the day before. Now I feel clean, look clean and smell clean and I am clean with the blood of Jesus. My conscience is clean because of the cross. He is my life.
All this stuff, activity, ministry is great and I am enjoying the heck out of it but it is just a fruit of the grace of God in my life. It is coming not out of strife or trying hard, it is just a joy that I have that I am trying to find a place for it to go to. It is evidence of the love that I have. This love that is being poured out to me has to keep going not to die. I am convinced love has to be continual. You cannot store up yesterdays love for today or todays for tomorrow. It has to be like the manna. It has to be fresh everyday. It has to be like a stream flowing out of a pond, if the stream doesn't keep moving the pond goes stagnant. This love thing has to keep going and moving and being rested in, enjoyed, bathed in. The more we receive it and then give it away the more we receive. It is the treasure we can multiply or bury.
I am so humbled that He would let me know Him and that He would be with me in such a way even though I am still such a mess. I feel whole and loved and healed and strengthen. I just have such a peace and joy that is only in Him and I don't understand it or know how it works I just know it is. It is such a relief to not have to figure it out for it to just be.
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