Not only am I forgiven much, I am loved much

God has really been dealing with me in my heart over the past several days. This is why I haven't written. I really didn't have anything to say. My emotions and my heart have been like being on a teeter totter, up and down. I have decided to swallow my pride and be honest with you in hopes God will be glorified and perhaps someone else can benefit some way from it.

My husband and I are doing really great. Probably the best we ever have because when we first got married I had kids, he had work, then the kids and work left us and we had to figure out how to really love each other without all the distractions.

We have been married for 43 years. You know in a marriage this long there is bound to be hurt in both peoples lives. I thought I kept a short list on the wrongs done and that I was always a big forgiver.

Yesterday I could sense a wall I was putting up. I thought was is wrong. This morning I read an article and I began to cry. I though why am I crying, why am I so hurt? The Spirit showed me that I was blaming my husband for things that had gone wrong in our lives and our children's. This caught me by complete surprise. I ask a few friends to pray. I saw that he was to blame but so was I. We were both responsible and had screwed up majorly. We needed to forgive each other and we needed Jesus forgiveness for us. That the price Jesus had paid on the cross could cover my sins and the sins of my husband. When I saw my sin and what Jesus had done for me I could forgive my husband.

This is what marriage is all about. Learning to ask for forgiveness and forgiving. Pointing each other to Jesus. Loving as Jesus loves us, unconditionally.  I became aware a long time ago God was using my marriage to make me more dependent on Him.  To make me more like Christ.  Even when times got hard for us both that reality kept me coming back, learning to love my husband and looking to my Savior and my God and the Spirit.

Do you have unresolved hurt in your heart, maybe even anger toward someone if you are honest? Maybe they did hurt you. Maybe you hurt them. Have you gotten the log out of your own eye before you see the speak in the other persons eye?  Are you like Paul chief of all sinners?  You know how much God has forgiven you and loves you.   Ask the Spirit to show you and people to pray. Those who are forgiven much love much. You can only forgive and love to the extent in which you know Jesus forgives and loves you.