An Awakened Heart

I never, ever watch television. Don't know why. Can't operate the remote. The guys have just left for their second hunt. They left the television on. So I decided to scan the channels. I can do that lol.
I am now watching the amazing movie, the Titanic. What a story. I forgot why I loved it so. Rose had everything but was miserable as if she had nothing. Until her heart was awakened when

 she, it seemed by chance, met a very poor man who saved her life, Jack. He taught her how to laugh, to live and to love. She was not the same. Her life was not the same. She was changed.
Gods goal for our heart is to awaken. So He can capture our whole heart. Once this happens we experience God in a deeper way that we ever thought possible. We learn to love in a radical way. We abandon self. We break free and we live. We begin to understand this un-understandable, endless love that is showered on us. As the rain is to the earth.

Spontaneous...who me?

Spontaneous, who me?  Last night the kids came by and were going hunting.  They ask me to go.  I thought just being polite.  But then they insisted.  I thought me go hunting?  They said you can go take pictures, read, relax.  So  I threw some things in a bag and here I am. Out in the middle of no where.

 The quiet and the stillness is like none I have ever experienced.  I know Jesus lives in me and me in Him but I am going to have an encounter this weekend with God.  I need to feel His presence.  To sense His arms around me.

Sometimes the loss and the pain can be so great only time
with our Holy Presence will do.  As I seek Him with tear filled eyes.  He is in the moment.  Healing and loving and embracing as no human can do.  He is mighty and powerful and tender full of mercy and grace and love.  There is no one or no experience like being with God Almighty.

I am waiting on their return from the morning hunt.  Now feeling whole and satisfied from the depths of my being.  I have joy and love to give.  The pain comforted.  The fear melted away.  The heart quietened.

It is a gorgeous, cool morning.  I am anticipating fun and great things from my Daddy today.  There is no time like the present.  Don't live in regret of yesterday or the illusion or fear of tomorrow.  Live in the abundance of today.  Live in Jesus.

The Gospel, Relationships

Since this grace has captured my heart I have seen the heart of the gospel is relationships. I have had many good relationships in the past. I say good. I really didn't know how to love. But people still loved me. I was inward focused. I wanted to keep the peace. Make people happy. Not make anyone upset. Face no rejection at all cost.  Just not screw up.
Jesus came to show us an exact representation of the Father. Jesus said if you have seen me you have seen the Father. To know Jesus is to know the Father, through the Spirit. The same Spirit that indwells Jesus, indwells the Father and indwells us. We are one with them. Three persons, One God. We are to be in an intimate relationship with all three but One.  We are to be in intimate relationship with each other.  Where the defenses are down.  The fake life is melted away.  You are open and honest and true as led by the Spirit in each circumstance.  It is not a needing but a giving away.

Jesus showed us how to love through His life through the scriptures. Relationships are life giving and sustaining. Because it is Jesus in and through us loving others. I am as dependent on my relationship with the Father and others as an addict is to cocaine. The most addictive thing out there I have heard. But in a healthy, life giving way. Not in a lacking way but out of a fullness of the love of God in you.
I have screwed up in stepping off this cliff of loving others. You are gonna mess up in relationships. There is pain and suffering and love and joy and rewards and forgiveness and dependency. All that has to be refined and purified. Redeemed. Tried and true.  You are going to give love.  And so love doing it.  Then someone will come alone who gives to you.  Not that the others don't but this is different.  It is like you are being loved with the very love of Jesus.  You think they must be an angel of God sent to you to love you in this way.  Your heart will be touched.  Your spirit strengthened.  Wisdom given.  Mind altered.  Truth comes alive.  And the Spirit is supernatural.  And the most life giving love will be theirs expecting nothing in return.  You will know it is Him.  Lavishing His love on you through them.
The key to loving others is to know the love God has for you. It is pure, unconditional and faithful and truth. We love because He first loved us. Press on. Don't give up.  Learn to love as Jesus loved. Healthy and vibrant and life giving relationships. Don't be afraid you are going to mess up. You are. But God is your protector. Your provider of grace. Your joy and your peace. Trust in Him and His Spirit to counsel you.   It is through and in Christ that we live and breath and move. Allow Jesus to love you. And others through you.
Keep your heart before Him.  Let Him meet your every need and guide you through His Spirit.  It is out of the overflow of a fountain sustained by the love of The Father, Son and Spirit.  It is an intertwining.  A life giving.  It is a union that is not understandable but the example Christ gives is His union a man and a woman.  You are one with God.  You are in the family of God.  There is no great unity than living in the Spirit of God.

Ford Farms

Trophies of Grace

Can you imagine before time God sat down with Jesus. The conversation may have gone something like this, I would imagine. Jesus I have been thinking. I want a family. I want you to have a bride. I have chosen these people I want to give to you. I have been thinking about how to best go about this.

 I want them to know me Jesus. I want you to go show them who I am.  I want them to know my mercy and grace and love and justice. T

he best way to accomplish this, I think, is for them to need my mercy and grace. How else will they know what forgiveness and my unconditional love is for them. They will be sinners. They will need a Savior. I want you to go get them Jesus. I want you to become one of them. We will rescue and save them from evil and themselves. They are going to be enslaved as real as if the bars were in front of them and the chains were on their wrist and feet. They will need a new heart.  A new way of thinking.  They will have to be reborn. Our Spirit will dwell in them. 

  We will bring them into our intimate relationship.  They will be created in our own image.  You will live and breath and move in and through them Jesus.  Our love for each other must be shared.  It will change eternity for us Jesus.  Once brought in they will be with us forever.  They will be our delight.  They will be our trophies of Grace.  We will sing and party and dance.  And work and create and fellowship like they have never known.  We're going to have to teach them how to love and how to live free.  Our Spirit will do that.  You go show them Jesus and then leave them our Spirit.

It is going to be the hardest thing we have ever endured Jesus. We will have to be separated for a time. You will suffer for every sin they will ever commit. Every suffering they experience. You will feel the rejection from me and them. You will be all alone. We have never been separated. You have always been in my heart. We will do this for our glory and the joy it will bring us Son. You gotta trust me on this one Jesus. And here is how I want it done.

THe Colors

Scared

I have been so excited. My friend and I headed for the moutains today. I couldn't wait to see the color. We stopped for a meat and 3 lunch on the way. Then up the mountain we went. Soon there was breath taking color. Then we approached the road to the waterfall. We were going to kinda kill two birds with one stone kinda thing. We turn off to the right onto this long dirt gravel road. Seemed like we went forever. We passed workers on the road on the way. Then we turned into the parking lot. There were about 4 cars. It also was a camping ground. There was a trail we were pointed to by the map but it was not very defined. We concluded that was the way to the waterfall. I had a check in my spirit. Where are all the people. Why is this way not a clear path. I went anyway.
We. began our mile hike up the hill, across the creek, and down and up again and across. Over roots, very narrow paths, finally wet and slippery ground. It seemed like we went forever. If it had not been for my friend I would have turned back. I thought anything could happen here and no one would know. Lord you are with me. Help me see your beauty. We did see beautiful falls of water along the way. I kept thinking this is it. Then we approached the water fall itself. 70 ft. high. I heard it. I saw it from a distance. But there were trees and limbs in the way. Sharp and slippery rock that led onward.
My husband would kill me were my words to myself. There is nothing safe about here. I am not going any closer. My friend with great courage pressed forward to get her view and the pictures we came for. I though no picture is worth a broken leg out in this wildness. I am done.
As I stopped and my friend preceded I had no regret. I held fast to the land beneath my feet. I wiped my brow and rested on the tree beneath me. I cannot wait to see her pictures. I could see between the trees it was so enormous. It was so mighty and forceful. I just stopped and prayed. Lord I don't' have to have a picture. I wish I was willing to risk going further but it is enough just to be with you. Here in this place. If I am not having faith. Please forgive me. But for now dear Lord just please get me back to that parking lot. lol.
I remarked to my friend I just wanted to see the color. The leaves. I was so tired and so was she. She said their is a scenic view just 10 miles ahead.  Driving there and back and taking pictures should not take us more than 45 min.  She said I think you need to go on. I thought I don't know how much longer I can go. But yes you are right. We came out of the gravel road, turned left, went around a corner and there was the most beautiful sight. A pull off and a few that took my breath away.  It was the colors.  Deep and rich and glorious.   I was so thankful and amazed. This is what I had come for.  To see His glory in the trees.  God was so good to give it to me so I could give it to you.
My point is He knew I was afraid. He knew I was seeking His glory in His creation. And He gave it to me. I am overcome. It was one of those most memorable days. I was in the presence of my friend and of God. What could be better?