Sunday, February 15, 2015
In Love all over again
Sorry this is late. I really don't know what to write so I am going to go with the flow. My husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary, 45, a few weeks ago. Some where along the way I had lost my wedding band, I had two actually I had lost, silver and gold. They were of course too small after all these years so I wasn't wearing them anyway. I ask Danny if I could get a new one for our anniversary. He said yes. He said just a band right lol. I said yes. Later he said I will pay for it. lol I said oh, oh great, thanks. lol
Anyway I went looking for just a plain band like I had and I saw some ring guards I also had had made. So I came home and ask him to open the safe and look for my guards. They weren't there. We went to the bank to look in the safe deposit box and they weren't there either. So I kept saying Jesus it is ok. It is just stuff. I tore the house apart. I found all kinds of things. I had put jewelry in boxes, in purses, over the years I had just stuck it in places thinking I wouldn't forget it. I just haven't really worn real jewelry in many years. I had tried to give some to the girls and Lee. But they wouldn't take it and Danny wanted me to keep it. He use to give me some really pretty pieces.
Anyway I didn't find the guards but I found both my wedding bands, my cross, and my initial ring my parents had given me in high school. I was so delighted. These pieces had sentimental value. I showed Danny, still hoping I would find the other pieces. He was happy.
I don't really know why I told you this story but to celebrate with me. I don't know when I have been happier or more in love with my husband than now. We have had ups and downs. He could have left me many times and so I guess I could have him but we just plain didn't think it was an option. I don't think God has used anything like my marriage to bring me to my knees and also some times that were bigger than life. I am a very blessed woman and I know it most every day even when times are hard with medications and so forth like the other night when I was coming off some meds I was allergic to. It was really hard. I slept 4 hrs and was really sick and obsessed over many things. How my friends, Danny and my children and other family have put up with me I don't know. But I love you all.
I gave Danny the pictures he wanted framed of him and Lee, made a chocolate pie, I have about eaten all up and he ask me what I wanted and I said tulips. I think one thing that has changed in our marriage is I am secure and he is secure in our love for each other. What has helped is us being secure in Gods love for us. We don't look for each other to prove anything. That is how it is with Jesus. We are a picture of Christ and His bride the church. We love each other unconditionally but are always striving to love each other better. This is all of the grace of God and I know that and I am very thankful. It has been nothing earned but somehow along the way we began to love the other person more than we love ourselves. As I said we don't look for each other to do for us, like make us whole or feel loved or accepted that only Jesus can do for us. One of my friends moms said somehow along the way I quit trying to change my husband and loved him for who he was. I miss him so much. She had lost her husband a few years ago and was so precious talking about their marriage as she gave me wisdom in how to love Danny better. I have learned from many of you.
So goodnight friends. Maybe you have lost your mate, maybe you have had a previous marriage, maybe you have never married. God has a plan for your life and Jesus is enough. When you know that kind of love you are free to love those around you. This is what I hope my children continue to learn as they are amazing in how they love people and I had nothing to do with it because I was one jealous, selfish wife who has learned so much over her life time. Happiness is a choice and Jesus is our Joy! If you are not, as the Lord how to enjoy Him more through His creation. He communicates to us through it and we give Him glory as we allow it to point us to Him through it.
As for me...I am in love all over again. I know and enjoy life and people more than I ever thought possible. It truly is the abundant life in which He gives each of us. We can find it in Him...As Jesus says...return to your first Love, Him.