Breath of Heaven...Hold me together

We have all been called to take the good news of the gospel to a dying world.  To set the captives free.  We all are Mary.  We carry the life of Jesus within us.

Jesus came not to condemn us but to give us life.  Not only eternal life but life here on earth.  We all are deceived.  We believe the lies that we are not enough.  That Jesus is not enough to fill our deepest longing for love and acceptance.  Have you ever felt no one understands you.  And if they really knew you they wouldn't love you?



Jesus came also to set the captives free.  We all are enslaved to darkness and to the lies that our minds tell us.  We are brought into the glorious light and beauty of who we are in Christ.  Our Father knows what we need.  Everything we need for life and godliness is for us in Christ.  All we have to do is ask.  Often I ask God for a greater love for God and others.  We are forgiven.   He delights for us to ask Him for such things.

 God, Jesus knows the worst about us but yet He longs for a loving relationship with us.  There is no fear to have intimate relationship with Him.  Where He knows our thoughts, our intentions.  I have been so fearful for Jesus and others to know my thoughts.  There have been times I have loved others so little.  I have been judgmental and felt such anger that I would be embarrassed to even tell you.   I want to share His love and forgiveness for you in the depths of despair because of such thoughts as these.

We have a loving Father who is renewing our mind, daily.  Jesus works in us moment by moment.  The Father is giving us the very mind of Jesus.  We have a new heart.   His love for us and others lives in us. We can learn to forsake our selfishness and receive His gift of love.  I have felt such love for others that I cannot contain it.  It is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  We are told that none are good, no not one, only God.  We can do good and speak good to others but our hearts can be cold, unloving, and selfish.  Full of fear.

We can beat ourselves up, in our minds, as I have done at times.  Feeling empty and unworthily.  But we are so loved.  Jesus makes us valuable.  More valuable that we can imagine by His very life and love for us.   I have struggled knowing how to be loved in such a perfect, wonderful, glorious love that only God can love.  I know I do not deserve such love and grace that I have received from God and even others.  No one can fill our hearts with the unconditional, radical, powerful love.   Only God can meet the deepest longing we all have to be loved and known completely.

Learning to be loved is a humble thing.  Seeing how beautiful we are to Jesus and knowing the security of being a child of the living God brings hope, breaks the chains that bind us.

It is pride that does not know how to receive undeserved love.  We try to earn Gods love by ministry, doing good deeds, working, but if we do the most wonderful things but do not have love we are but clanging symbols.  I have felt that I have wasted so much of my life.  Jesus says that the first will be last and the last will wear a crown.  His grace is so free and powerful in the life of the believer.  I don't believe any pain or life that is given to Him is wasted.  He is a redeemer.  He will restore the years the locus have eaten.

I have known God as long as I can remember.  I don't think any of us will get to the end of our lives and feel that we have done enough or deserve the unmatchless grace of God.  Paul said he had kept the faith and finished the race.  His trust was in Christ and not himself.  Paul knew his tendencies toward pride and his sin.  He knew even his best works were but filthy rags.   His only hope was in Jesus.  May we do the same.  He is our Rock and our foundation.

Christ uses the sick, the messed up, the failures, the weak to speak of this undeserved love of Christ.  So may we embrace our brokenness and our weakness.  No matter your suffering or your story Christ has purpose in it all.  You may not can see how God is using it, but trust it all has purpose.  He promises to use it all for our good and His glory.

So my Christmas message to you is...Love Came Down...

God may unravel us, to help us trust in Him alone.  His love is that jealous.  As I was beginning to grasp the truth of this love in my heart, that God has for us, I just had to be held by Him.

 I have learned not to pull up my bootstraps but to be weak.  To be with Jesus.  There are many days I do the hard thing.  Just take the first step of faith.   I prayed God would be my strength and He was.  We are told that the joy of the Lord is our strength and it is. We lose strength when we lose trust in ourselves.  Learning to pray and desire Gods will in my life has been a process for me.  Slowly, but steadily I have come to see my control and fear in living life without being controlling.  Love can be risky.  Fear of rejection and failure can be painful.  Learning to say no from a person who thinks they have to have the approval of others can be hard...

Risking it all... to seeing the love and beauty God has for me in surrendering my life, my loved ones to my loving Him, through Jesus, by the Spirit.  I prayed many days Lord, I don't know how to live.  Step by step, grace, upon grace, I am tasting the freedom that Jesus came to give me.  The life He has given me.  Some days I pray, as maybe you do to...

           Breath of Heaven...Hold me together

As I pray for God to be in control of me and my heart, He turns my heart like a rudder on a fishing boat. He guides me daily and gives me the strength to do His will.   He gives me the grace I need to come to the throne of grace with boldness and confidence confessing my worse sin,  knowing I am so forgiven and loved beyond measure. Satan tells us we do not love God and He does not loves us.  Learn the lies of the devil.

Let Gods love wash over you once again and receive the freedom to walk one more day in Gods love and forgiveness.

  I pray for God to create in me a clean heart.  A free heart. One that is free from guilt and shame.  One that forgives others and accepts the grace I need for each and everyday to know I am forgiven as if I never sinned.  A repentant heart is one filled with joy, love, peace and strength, filled with the desire to share the truth of the gospel.  He sees the privilege of being a fisher of men.  Telling of Gods wondrous love and grace and freedom to set the captive, the oppressed, the weak free!  Living to encourage those who have lost hope.  To keep the faith and know it is God who holds on to us and will never let us go.


                                                            LOVE CAME DOWN

              

TO SET THE  CAPTIVE FREE!


If we could but remember...

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!
 God is faithful to write His story on our hearts.

He has us all on a beautiful journey to see His love, His faithfulness, to sinners like you and me.

We would but yet have peace of mind and a heart full of rest.

   

Keep hope alive...Chose life

CHRIST IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE...

In Christ we have life.

The first will be last and the last will receive a crown...a crown of Life!

Today begins Advent.

This Sunday represents Hope...

We have many ways of isolating and protecting ourselves. We live in a world that is not always kind and we get hurt. Most of everything in our lives that is worth anything is out of our control. Faith can be not what is seen but what is unseen. Love can be risky. But it is so worth the risk.

I have learned that life is beautiful. My friend Penny use to say life is a gift and it is.  It is not as animated as psychosis.  It is true to its own.  It is real.  It is lovely.  It is Gods joy and delight to help us rely on Him to love Him and others through the Spirit.  We cannot do this on our own.  We are to weak.  To fearful.  To self centered.  We need the love of Jesus to make our lives worth living.

I visited my friend Martha Newton during the holidays.  While there I visited with my friends relative.  She shared with me her view of life. She said we are all cogs. I didn't understand what she meant. She said we are cogs on a wheel that keep the clock turning. When one of us removes ourselves, as we do, the clock does not run smoothly.  She said no matter what our calling we are all the same.  It does not matter if you are a mom of little children or have no children at all.  Whether you are a bible teacher or have a blog with hundreds of followers...in Gods eyes we are all the same. Beautiful, delighted in and rejoiced over.

 Remember it is God that gives the grace to accomplish what you are called to do.  So no glory goes to any of us.  But the joy of being used by God is shared among us and with Him.   We are unique people, in various giftedness in different roles of life.  It is so beautiful the body of Christ.  

When one of us is suffering we all suffer with him.  When one of us rejoices we all rejoice to.  We are to carry each others burdens.  Teach each others to rely on Christ alone.  Ask for the help of the Spirit.  May we suffer well...when we don't and we fail.  It is Christ suffering and His joy that we experience.   It is His life that is ours.  It is insanity to keep doing the same things and expect a different results.  So we may need to change our way of thinking to experience life as God has intended.

We cannot experience this beautiful life if we are isolated or have the illusion that our addictions will protect us.  Only by moving out of my psychosis and my safe places have I experienced how beautiful this life can be.  We have a choice.,,,

WE CAN CHOSE LIFE

LIFE LIVES WITHIN US...

We can dabble in choosing life and we do.  We experience a little joy.  We may be with friends and even help others then we return to our safe place and the cycle repeats itself.  Jesus wants us free.  Free to love others and to experience life. The more we surrender our days, our lives to Jesus the more He frees us from clinging to ourselves and our false securities.

When we connect with others lives, as Jesus did through incarnation, we experience Him.  Be creative.  Try something new.  Let go of yourself and focus on Jesus.  Receive the gifts and blessings that God has for us in Christ.  Just live. Hold your plans loosely this Christmas seasons.  Commit them to the Lord. Enjoy creation.  As for the grace to be thankful how God will keep His promises in all situations.  Ask the Spirit to bring your life, a life of praise.  Pray for the poor, the lost and those you love.  Remember your Savior is always praying for you.

Do not let fear or satan rob you of life this holiday season.  Face your giants with the courage of Daniel, David.  Be Ester.  Know you are here for such a time as this.  Be with me and learn to live as a little child.  Recently I ask my Father to give me a song.  How great thou Arn't came to mind.  I remembered when I was a young girl in a small Methodist Church and I sang in front of that small congregation, this very song.  I was beyond joy, when that beautiful song later came on the radio.  Jesus and the Father has used music to be a way of grace to me.  We can continue to do the same song and dance.   Or we can join in the dance of the Spirit.  We can hear the beautiful music of the Gospel.

We can join Jesus in this beautiful dance of Life.

Time alone with God is beautiful or it maybe grueling at times.  But there is freedom in casting your cares on the cross of Christ.  Confessing your sins before a holy God.  Desperation and need are sometimes when life begins with Jesus.

I

So I challenge you to join me in choosing life... this holiday season. Life brings pain but so much joy and beauty. This is an imperfect world that we live in. It is not our home. But while we are here on this earth we can live life to the fullest.  We can pray for Gods kingdom to come on earth.   Chose to see the good in others and open our hearts to the beautiful plan God has for us in a fallen world. Just let it unfold.  Just be held...It is the very life of Jesus that we live.  We are so safe in Him.

Encourage and give joy away. People need a kind word, a helping hand and love. It can be a wonderful holiday, remembering the birth of our Savior. 

LOVE CAME DOWN FOR YOU AND ME

Use your gifts, to love  those hard to love, those in pain, those who have less that we do. If we just take the time to pass the love of Jesus to the world around us, there will be something so magical happen within your very soul and the world around you. Joy is contagious. Hope is found. People are amazingly unique. 

The Lord loves a generous giver. What better gift to give others this season than yourself! Just as our Lord did. He risk it all to come to rescue us. He did it for the joy. We can to!

LOVE CAME DOWN

MAY WE SPREAD THIS LOVE AMONG OURSELVES AND OTHERS.

This is my story, this is my song.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

There is a battle for our hearts and minds.

The world tells us we are not good enough.  We are shamed and guilted by others.  Even those who love us are in the same battle.  They hurt us and we hurt them.  We manipulate, control and shame others to get what we want.  This is a sad state but it is the effects of a fallen world.  Sinful parents who love us dearly can and do fail us.  But not God.  Marriage partners, friends, even our own children we hurt and they hurt us.  At some point in our lives we all deal with false guilt, shame and a loss of our true identity.

We respond negatively to the negativity in our lives at times.  We all have been wounded by sinners and a fallen world.  It is a reason for our behavior and our negative beliefs but not an excuse to stay in these fallen conditions.  Jesus came to rescue us.  To heal us.  To renew our minds and show us His great love for us through His precious Son.

Satan will use these lies to tell us we are not enough.  We are to fear no evil for God is with us.  The doubt that Gods does not love us.  That we do not love God.  These lies can be used to beat us up mentally, especially those with mental illness.

God wants to deliver us from the bondage of sin and slavery.  The gospel is the answer.  Christ came to give us a new identity

We are loved by God

His love is placed within us

We are forgiven

God does not hold our sin against us ever

He delights in us.
God is never angry with us.
His very righteousness is ours.

There is nothing we can do, as Gods children, to make Him love us more or cause Him to love us less.

God does not leave us as orphans but chooses us to be His children.  We are in the very family of God. How astounding is this.   We are forever secure.  What higher honor is there in this world that to be dearly loved by the perfect Father, God Himself.  

 In a perfect world, God wants us in safe homes, safe families and safe friends.  This is not always the case.  It is important to know that we all are sinners but any abuse is wrong and should be avoided.  Our children need to always be safe.  We need to be with safe people that love and accept us.

 When God looks at us He sees the perfection of Jesus. We have His perfect obedience, His mind.  His desires become ours.  Even His surrender becomes ours.  We become His feet, His hands and His love for others.

 Our Father never grows weary.  He does not sleep.  He is always caring and loving for His children. He can deliver us from evil.  He can pull us out of our deepest pains and sorrows. We are loved as much as He loves His very own son Jesus.  He is never disappointed or discouraged.  He is never angry nor does He ever leave us.  He holds on to us.  Nothing, not us or any spiritual being can separate us from His love.  We are so secure and safe in Christ.  He is bringing us all to trust in Him alone as our Savior, Lord, Rescuer and Redeemer.  His loves to give us mercy and we never are lacking of His grace.

As we become more safe in Gods love... Remembering there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus our guilt and shame is swallowed up by His love and forgiveness.  We become more bold and loving. Our self centeredness fades away as we accept our true value and identity of who we are in Christ.   Our hearts begin to know, who we truly are and Gods great love for us in sending Jesus to shine through our broken lives and hearts.  Our false guilt and shame, we are all born with and that has been placed on our shoulders by this fallen world also fades and is swallowed up, as our true worth and value began to take hold.  We rest more in our true identity.  In our true worth.  In our Saviors work for us in the cross.  Loving others is a natural outpouring of Gods love, realized, in our lives.

Letting yourself go maybe difficult as it is for me.  Focusing on Jesus instead of our failures and our successes can be a scary thing.  This can be a spiraling down as we evaluate ourselves instead of interesting ourselves to the one who loves us.  Living life to the fullest is His glory and His desire to bring us to this freedom and love.

Our loving Father has a wonderful plan for our lives.  To rescue and redeem us through the precious blood of Jesus.  We forgive others and know we also need forgiveness from those we have hurt.  Reconciliation becomes possible.  Rest and peace of mind comes into the life of the redeemed.  Greater is He who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it.  

This does not mean that life is perfect nor is our contentment in Jesus. We cannot always see what God is doing in our suffering but we can rest in the promise that it is always used for good.  

Once we taste that the Lord is Good, our hearts desire is for this life in the Spirit more and more.  This life of love and no condemnation.

The freedom of knowing you are a child of God and His goodness fills your heart more and more than the fear and the lies.  He has recused me and held on to me in my darkest times of despair.  He will you to.  His love never fails.  He is always for His child...

We are not alone.  We have a helper to help us with everything we need as a follower of Jesus. The beautiful Holy Spirit.   The Father is continually working to renew our minds.  Jesus is working in our hearts, in our circumstances and the relationships, even difficulties to bring us to a true trust in Him alone. We are a new creation.  Created in the very image of God.   Jesus is working out the Masters plan in our lives.  It is not always the life we would have chosen.  This is the part of picking up your cross and following Him.    Christ finished work for us on the cross is irreversible.  We cannot mess up Gods plan.  This may lead you into the valley of the shadow of death.  It did me,  but Jesus will never leave you nor leave you alone, ever.

There are many ways we try to feel safe in this unsafe world.  I have thought if I could just figure things out.  Know enough, understand enough, I would be safe.  There is no knowledge, addictions, relationships, fame, success, nothing of this world that is safe enough to rescue you.  We are going to be hurt.  We are going to fail.  We are going to experience fear and sin. We do not have to be controlled by anyone or any fear.  As we surrender, with Jesus surrender the pain may increase but the joy is sure to come.  It is in His timing not ours.  We can learn to live in the promises of God, as a beloved child of God.  Safe, Secure, and Loved.

It maybe that just when you think things are getting better your faith is tested and it may fail. But God's love never fails.  His promises are true.  There is no love greater and more faithful than Jesus and the Father through Christ in the precious Spirit.  So thinking you have got to hang on is good but the truth is... if you struggle and it seems the pain does not stop, it maybe that Jesus is the one that truly hangs on to you.  He is always working for our relationship with Him.  He brings us to a deeper, richer, more glorious place of His presence and who He is than ever before.  

It may seem like three steps forward and two backward at times, but remember your life, your maturity, you faith, even your relationship when tested, is all up to Him.  It is He who began a good work in you and He who will complete it.  You can go to Him with everything.  He will fight to keep you.  So may your fears, anger, doubt, unforgiveness and discontentment drive you to the loving arms of God.

He WILL see you through.

God has a better plan for me...than me.

God who has ordained our trails, has already made a way of escape.

How could voices in my head be the will of God I protested.  How could it be Gods perfect plan for my life.

I knew that God heard my words, but the voices I heard were not His.  So can God relate and use our circumstances to speak to our hearts?  Yes and in any way He chooses.  He is God!  

I had no idea that I was actually fighting the very sovereignty of God in my life. I knew God was good.

 I couldn't see what God was doing.  I actually said, He had stopped using the mental illness.  It was up to me to change it.   I thought...these voices have got to stop to be in Gods will.  But they persisted.  I had come to the end of me knowing I was completely powerless to stop the voices.  At one point they were so condeming...I was silenced.  All I could do was to lay at the feet of Jesus.

I began to surrender as I prayed...God I don't know what to do about the voices.  But would you use them for me to know you better?

I began to see how God had continued to use my illness and the struggles in my life, in good, and redeeming ways.  I began to rejoice and thank God once again for my suffering.  My lesson here is God is working even when you can't see it.

So I move my life and myself back into the very life and love of Jesus.  Letting go of the life I wanted but taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  I have to have discernment and wisdom from Gods word and the help of the Spirit.  The help of a good friend.

Is what I am hearing a lie or is this something good.  For me to know Him better.  It is clear to me I cannot stop the voices.   I should not let my thoughts go wild.  The Spirit has given me self control so many times.  I am learning how I can do things to help but yet the voices still remain.  Often  times Jesus quiets the voices.  At times I just speak His powerful name and they stop.   I ask Jesus to slow down my racing thoughts and He does.  I have come to reject the voices when they condemn me.  I know they are not from Jesus, but the world the flesh and the devil.  

Jesus has held on to me through the worse for me.  But by His grace today I grab hold of my Savior and risk it all.  

There is no life without risk. 

No love without pain.

No joy with out death.

No glory without sacrifice.

No happiness in self.

No peace without trust.

No power without weakness.

No breaking of chains in control.

No fighting evil without truth and love.

No change without the kindness of God.

It is all of grace.  We cannot even hate sin apart from the kindness of God.  The Holy Spirit restrains the whole world from sin.  Our best works are but filthy rags. It is God that does the good work in us.  He promises to complete it.  Jesus left us in this world but not of it.  We will struggle with sin until we see Him face to face.  We are in a battle.  Our job is to believe who God is and who He says we are and to respond to what He is doing.  In faith.  In Love.   We just cannot do anything apart from Him.

We have a helper...the precious Holy Spirit.  It is in these truths that I celebrate just how beautiful is, the love and gift of God, in making us His child.  Christ gives us His righteousness that is inputed in us by faith.  The gift of the very life of Jesus is mine in the gospel.  His death.  His resurrection power.  The victory has been won and the chains have broken on the cross.  Our struggle is mostly because we do not believe the truth of what really happened on the cross.  We don't love God and others as ourselves.  We sin in thought, word and the things we do and leave undone.  But God never changes.  He is always good and always working all things for our good.  We are created in His image.  We mar that image.  He who began a good work in us will complete it.  He promises.  So we rest as the very Saints of God.

God has a better plan for me, than me.

My Father delights to give us mercy.  We have just enough grace to make it for today.   I live in the moment.  Loved by God.  He knows me completely.  I am right where He wants me.  I cannot mess up His plan.  I am just not that powerful.

 So...as I live in today and not in the fear of tomorrow.  Letting my fear drive me to the very heart of Jesus.  My heart sings with thanksgiving and praise to a God who sees.  Who is with me and never leaves me.  Who does not condemn me but delights in me just as I am.   I see the glorious beauty of my God and my Savior...Jesus.  I now know whether I can see it or not He has used my illness in the past and He will use it in the future.

 My joy and my job is to live in the gift of today.  To abide in Jesus.  To be in His presence.  To move my life and myself into Him and know His perfect life is mine. To confess my sins and my need for Him.  To know I am forgiven... I am a loved child no matter what my circumstances.   Everyday we have is a gift!  Knowing God has a plan and nothing I do can mess that plan up...gives me great freedom to just be.  To live my days not in fear but in the Love of Jesus, my God and my Savior.

IT IS FOR HIS GLORY THAT WE LIVE AND FOR JOY!

A saintly women once wrote..Risk or Rust and I read some 20 years ago.  It still rings true to me today.

I have done a lot of thinking about Peter walking to Jesus on the water.  Yes and then sinking.

When we are fearful.  Out of control.  We sink back in to an area that is familiar.  I admire Peter.  He got out of the boat?  What is your boat?  How big is your life?

Jesus rebuked Peter because he had little faith.  He did not believe Jesus could handle His circumstances.  He thought it was up to him.  I shared with my brother-in-law about the boat in the water with all the beautiful glass balls.  Just like the disciples that day when Peter got out of the boat. I told him that is like me.  He grinned and said oh you of little faith and I was.

Sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is just get out of the boat.  What are your gifts and talents.  How far does you knowledge go?  Where do you feel comfortable and safe and what do you feel like you can succeed?


Over these years of medicine and mental struggles my boat became very small at times.  Each time I have a relapse I tend to pull back to my circle of life where I feel safe.  Where I can control.   I surround myself with friends and family that I know love and accept me.  My world got very small during these years, I am sad to say.  It was a struggle to venture out into the world and life that God had for me to enjoy and live life beyond my safety.

How many times do we hear how people who are depressed will isolate themselves.  We are afraid of rejection, of failure, because our sinful nature is to reject each other.  So it is real.  Rejection, failure and pain will come.


The question I have for you is life worth it?  Is loving God and others worth getting out of the boat?


I don't think we get out of our comfortable surroundings to love... but it is love that gets us out.


We tend to control others or they control us.  It is a life learning lesson to see what real love is.  Truth and love cannot be separated.  We need to stop our manipulation and trying to please people instead of loving them.  Love can be telling someone what they don't want to hear.  It maybe facing rejection and even pain but God says it is worth it.  He says it is worth the joy.  It was so worth it He endured the cross for the joy of loving us and sharing His love with us.  So dare we not do the same thing.

That is what happened as I ventured to the Biltmore House with my daughter and my sister-in-law, her husband and my daughters friend.  I wasn't sure how being on meds that cause me to be sluggish, I could master the day that was before me.  It was a 14 hour day of being on our feet.  We actually got my sister in law a scooter.  She is such an inspiration to me.  She has health issues and told me, I am determined this is not going to get the best of me.

The day brought so much laughter as Pat got her scooter stuck.  My daughter laughed so hard she couldn't stand up.  We ventured into dark paths not wanting to miss anything we had a chance to see, laughing and stunned all along the way.  Hearing the music and seeing the displays as I sat just enjoying all that was around me for moments too valuable for me to be able to express.

The people I met along the route as we explored the lovely grounds brought such happiness to me and even strength.

We ate great food, saw beautiful sites and memories enough to last a lifetime as we saw the blown
glass creation's display.

I know a little of Jesus joy.  Just sharing these things with you brings me even more joy.  It makes the day complete.

We hear a lot about people being stuck.  We get stuck.   We want to know that we can handle life and it's circumstances.  We are paralyzed for many reasons.  We are afraid we will do the wrong thing.  Fear paralyzes us.  Sometimes we just need to take the next or the first step.  One thing will lead to the other.  Our eyes will get off of us and on to living.

We hear about being brave.  Taking risk.  Faith is risky and so is life and love.  No risk, no life.  No pain, no love.  But it is worth even sinking in the water because Jesus will be there to grab hold and never let us go.

It is interesting to me, Jesus took Peter back into the boat.  He took the disciples to a shore of beauty and on to performing even more miracles.  Peters failure did not stop the grace and love of Jesus from healing. From not doing the will of His Father.   Sometimes we need safe places and safe people that can love and care for us right where we are.  But to stay in the area of familiarity all of our life is to miss the magnificent and glorious wonder of the power of God of living in His world we live in.

These are things I am loving learning to have a child like faith in my wonderful Father who is the author of my days.  Jesus lovingly takes care of me as He carries out the plans God has for me.


 Think big, think small, dream and venture out into the unknown of life.  Live life that is beyond your control.  Try something new.  See where Jesus leads you.  I have a friend who says, what are we going to do today Jesus?   Creativity and loving, working... eating and drinking even can be done to is the glory of God. A kind word of encouragement.  A thankful heart. A small gift or serving Jesus through serving others.  What ever you do.  Let Christ do it through you.  Exchange your fear of failing.  Your perfectionism.  Learn, try, adventure out beyond what you can do.  Whether it be conquer some bad habit.  Facing a fear.  Loving the unloveable.  Silence your mind and heart and be in the very presence of Jesus.  Take a walk with your heavenly Father.  Let Jesus live life through you.

 I once heard that the glory of God is... beyond what we can do, in ourselves.  Maybe there is some truth to that.  Jesus Christ sets the captive free and gives us life.  He is the way, the truth and the life.


It is worth the risk!

It is for His glory we live!

He is giving us the crown of life.

He says yes my child, my own,  it is worth it.

Our heart goes with us...

Vacations Are Great But We Take Our Heart With Us

Good Morning friends.  I wanted to share what God is doing in my life again this month, from the back porch of Ford Farms to the beautiful beach of South Carolina.  I would love to hear  your own stories of Gods faithfulness.  It gives me wings to share with you and see how God is so for us.  Hopefully you might see His glory in the words written here.


We all have dealt with guilt and shame at one time or the other.  It came from Adam and Eve.  The law can condemn us.  Our parents and friends fail us as we push others toward perfectionism.  So the world imposes guilt as we hear and view its opinions daily.

 Social media is a good place to feel judged.  Others seem to be happy and have it all together.  I am happy for them truly but I ask myself...will I ever be that perfect? I must not love Jesus enough or I would do better,  I tell myself.

It was my own heart that condemned me.

Jesus says that He does not ever condemn us.

So why do we...


We compare.

The Pharisee said to Jesus.  Thank you that I am not like the tax collector.  The tax collector then said have mercy on me, oh God a sinner.   Who do you think was forgiven?

 Self righteousness runs so deep in us.   We see others sin before we do our own.  I just want to help them.  I truly do.  But another side of  the truth can be I feel significant if I can help someone else.  How prideful and insecure is that.  Hard stuff.  God will not share his praise.  This has cured me as I know in my heart His glory is what my heart longs for.

My heart continues to wrestle at times.  All of ours do if we are honest.

If I could only spend some money.  Maybe go to the grocery.  Buy a new pillow.  Try something new today.  Do a good deed.  Do something difficult for me.  Not be on this medicine.  These and more are signs I need Jesus.  If I could only write a devotional.  I usually need to go to my journal and my bible.  Spent time in prayer instead of self focused and feeling inadequate and seeing too much of my sin.   Self centeredness can be deceiving  as a good thing.

 I just want to be more like Jesus I tell myself.  We are never more like Jesus than when we are loving others with compassion and full of heart.  Serving others out of an abundant joy over the love He has lavished and radically given us.  You cannot force it if it is real.  It is like grapes on a vine.  They just burst forth.


The motives of our hearts matter to God.


I struggled recently with thinking I was angry.  This scared me to death.  How dare I be angry for the pain in my life.  I had not gotten the pain free life I had always wanted. Somehow I thought if I did it right I would not have pain.  But who can do it so right in a fallen world.

The cross of Christ grew bigger for me that day.

The newest thing I learned is God loves, loves, loves to give us MERCY!

I ask my Father will you please hold me and help me work through this.  He was so willing and longed to help us with this sin I finally saw.  The Spirit reveals things hidden in our thoughts at times.   I prayed God, " Please help and forgive me".  He graciously did. I pictured myself crawling up in His lap as we looked at the root causes of my anger.  I had such freedom from the thoughts.

Have you struggled with a besetting sin?  Something you just can't do or stop doing?

Do you find yourself defending, excusing or blaming what you cannot change?

Do you ever think God is angry with you when you sin?

He is NOT!



We are prone to wonder from the one we love.   And we do over and over again.  We all fluctuate from the prodigal son to the self righteous son.  Going out.  Coming home.  Feeling self righteous and going out again.  We all seek our own way daily.

God loves you with an everlasting love.  If you are in Christ He sees the perfect life of Jesus when He looks at you.  God requires perfection to come to Him.  We are not in our own right.  The only way God can come near to us, is us being perfect in Christ.  We have His life and His heart and obedience.  Even His mind.  This is what Gods sees.


The other night I went to church.  I was just trying to focus my thoughts on Jesus instead of my fears.  There was a Jewish christian man who led the video said the words, "YOU ARE FORGIVEN".  It washed over me in ways I cannot explain. It seemed so holy.  So right.  I was clean.  I felt I was so loved.  Just as I am.  I am forgiven.  Past, present and future of all that I had ever done and will do.  I felt a load was lifted from my shoulders as I have beaten up myself thinking how I will never get it right.


It is not about getting better, but you will.  It is about trusting God more.  It is a rest no matter where you are.  You will see there is a kindness, compassion, and love for God and others.  It is His love, His heart, His mind that you are letting shine through the brokenness of your life.  It is a joy and peace that only He can give.

So I am not what I use to be and neither are you.  He promises, He who began a good work in you will complete it. I am not living fully who I really am either.  But I am learning. The Father is training my mind to focus on things of beauty instead of things that drain life out of me.   The loved child of God, who will never let us go.  It is working out your salvation to remember who you are in Christ.

This morning I ask my good, good Father what are His plans for us today.  Where is He working so that Jesus and I might join in by His Spirit.  It is a life giving life that we have been given.  Sin just distracts us from seeing the beauty of Jesus that is all.  When you have come into the presence of our beautiful Savior relationships and life is a joy... not a challenge that you cannot bare.  It is exciting and expectant at what God will do.  It is a calm confidence not fear.  But it does not come easy.  It cost Jesus His life and ours.  We have to die to thinking about trying to get better.  And think about how beautiful our Savior is.  It is a freedom to not worry about sin but to be so free in your heart that you cannot contain the love that is given to you in Christ.  It just makes you want to live everyday to the fullest and do what you can to pass that freedom along to others.

We Cannot Push Hard Enough, Long Enough

IT IS NOT OUR PUSH,  BUT  IN OUR POSITION....

LET LOVE TAKE HOLD OF YOU.

THIS IS AN ACCOUNT OF GODS WORK IN MY HEART

THESE LAST WEEKS AND DAYS...

thank you my sweet Elizabeth.

let love take hold of you...

Our hearts and minds are Gods problem, even His joy!.  He is the one who renews our minds, changes our hearts and keeps us safe in His presence... it is work, training ourselves to think the things of God. To think on things that are praiseworthy and beautiful as well as encouraging and truth.  Remembering our new nature in Christ.  The beauty and reality of being a new creation...born again. We are the Fathers loved child.

 Although these things are true the flesh remains with us.  Our condemning thoughts of false guilt and shame are against our wonderfully made creative mind of Christ.  It is a process to being filled with the word, truth and peace of Christ in your mind and heart.  These things are ours for the asking.


Friends  and family are important,
Fellowship and advice from those few you trust
Gods word is important
Rest... spiritual and physical are important.
Meditation of our minds and hearts are important.
Prayer, I enjoy journaling along side my prayers.
Work is important for a healthy mind and body.


The enemy is real.  He is out to kill, steal and make us ineffective for the kingdom.  God is so much bigger than any trial we may have... it is a battle of our minds.

THE SPIRIT IS OUR HELPER!

No one has pure thoughts all of the time. So claim what is truth and let it change you.  Reject what is not.  Live out of the abundance of the wealth and glory of Christ in you.   We can learn to press into the things that bring us joy and delight.  These are the things God so delights in Himself in you.



I struggled with losing hope in these last days.  I prayed for a rescue, asking for peace and joy.  I prayed for others, my family and those I love.  The meds have kept me in a state of life that has been too hard for me.  I know I am blessed in so many ways but yet I am well enough to know I am not well.  So much better, but at the same time realizing... I could not do anything to change myself or my circumstances.  I  couldn't see Gods purpose in my life as I gave it all to Him.

This time of difficulty did pass.  God does not let us stay in the wilderness forever.  That is where hopelessness collides with our new nature.  It is a testing of our faith.  He is stretching us beyond what we can do to see the goodness and faithfulness of God our Father.


It is not through pushing that we find purpose and life.  We can't push hard enough, long enough.

  Not many writers write much about feeling defeated.  We are told what we should do.  When you cannot do what your heart longs for you to do...you may just not long for it at all.  These were the times all I could do was say the words, Jesus, Abba.

 God is moving me into a new direction.  It is Christ in me the hope of glory.   Letting go of self, letting go of my expectations and what I do as a christian was hard. Life went on and I kept my responsibilities as a wife and mother of grown children.  My grandchildren are always a part of my life.  But I saw control  and lack of faith in God keeping those I love.  My heart broke.   I surrendered.  Among these I also gave God the gifts I had been blessed by and hopefully blessed others to.  I prayed often Lord just show me how to live.   Christ held onto me from the ground up.

Living life apart from Jesus, was not my plan.  Him living His life in and through me was.  I had prayed for His strength, mind, surrender, heart.  The morning I woke and saw this beautiful truth of Christ in me, I saw life differently.  Jesus does live this righteousness that is mine.  He lives in my heart.   I saw how hard I had pushed in the life I had been living.  There was a freedom.  I am still learning what this mystery Paul spoke of means and how it is lived out.  It is such a precious gift when the things we know in our head become a part of our heart and life.

When you are in a hard place, sometimes all you can do is just be.  Waiting on God is not fun...You just cannot rush Gods work.

I still have ups and downs.  We all do if we are honest.  It is this life in a fallen world...Be honest. How about you?

 The sweetness of His presences and the very touch of His love somehow makes it all worth while.  I think, this is so precious, it can last me a lifetime, but I forget.

Suffering can cause us to focus on ourselves and our pain.

The waters get deep again
 I need Him to grab hold of my hand...again
His kindness and mercy and faithfulness are there again.

 I wondered... why I am still struggling after all these years.  We may not know in this life, the many ways God is glorified in our suffering.  The cross is our reminder of this.  God in His mercy has given us Himself, a peace.

 I have struggled with the life I did not want.  Being mentally ill was the last life I thought I would have.  It is not the life I dreamed of.  I have come to a place of surrendering my hopes of being well.  Finding Jesus in the midst of the voices is what has been the hardest thing of all.  Finding Jesus is never easy.  I would wonder, what in my head was real and what was not was the issue.  Jesus voice is as a gentle breeze.  Denying the voices that sucked me in was just too much for me.  I broke.  I failed.  My faith did not hold me but His faithfulness did.

 I see that when I gave up on me, is exactly the time when He began to step in.  It was not easy.  There was no quick fix.  He patiently began freeing me of the shackles of a life of being overly responsible to loving others right where they are.  He brought me to Himself in ways of gentle beauty I never knew.

 These things are well kept in His loving heart.  I don't have to understand, these things to be so. Gods character and my identity will never change.   I don't have to know what He is doing and why we all suffer.  Somethings I have learned to leave to my "Lord".

As He wrapped His loving, faithful arms around me.  I was reminded of this greater love in a song sent to me by my daughter.  I began to position myself inside of love.  It is not in my pushing that brings me to God but in my position.   Shift our awareness from the fears, from the lies, of that unloved place.  Focus our attention to the one who walks on water.  Who delights in us before time.  Who loves us beyond any love we can ever begin to imagine.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full into His wonderful face.
And the things of this world will grow strangely deem.
In the light of His glory and grace...

Jesus take the wheel!

During this time of my last setback...I have not been driving.  Many things are taken away and some-

times I feel trapped.

I can't just drive to the local store.  Other simple things like go to church.

This time has taught me many things.  I have learned to ask my friends to help me in ways I never

thought I would struggle with.  It was important I am around people and get out of the house.  There

were times I struggled with just having enough strength to do the things I wanted to do.  Friends and

family were there time and time again.  It was a humbling time for me to ask for help.  Help to go to

appointments.

This is not the life I wanted.  I was a very capable, structured, independent, strong woman.  I came

from a long line of strong women.  The generation before me lived through the depression.  It was up

to these women to keep the family going and together.  They worked in cotton fields.  They fought

the state to keep their children when times were so hard.  My grandmother was such a saint.  This is a

wonderful gift but I did not understand the community and family dynamics that I had come from.  I

expected to be able to handle anything and everything,  no matter how difficult the situation on my

own. Distance was such a hinderance.  I went home driving 9 hours with friends and a car load of

children.  I miss many reunions of my family and my high school class.   Moving away from family

and their support for years led me into a life of trying to be super woman.  Four children, a wonderful

staff, players, media, and fans and everything I thought that went along with my responsibilities as a

wife, mother and a christian. Perfection was a big problem for me.  Knowing I am going to fail has

been so liberating.   I eventually realized  I could not keep all the plates spinning.


Jesus had a life for me of relationships.  Of two way relationships, give and receive.  I love being

close to my sister and my cousins and my friends and my immediate family.  My mom always wanted

this for me.  Times changed, responsibilities lessened, my children grew up, my husband's profession

changed and I have been able to find a closeness that she desired for me again, since youth, with my

cousins, friends and the women I so love.  My daughters are my very best of friends!  I am so blessed

with each one of them.  So different.  So unique and lovely...

 It has not been easy to learn to be dependent on friends, family and God.  I was way to proud to ask.

But learning to receive is what Peter had to learn.  He did not want Jesus to wash His feet.  Jesus

came to serve not to be served.

It is important to serve others as Jesus did.  But it is just as important to learn to humbly let others

serve you.  I am not talking about taking advantage of others but for them to serve you.  I think of

Joni Ereckson and those that serve her daily in a wheel chair.  How humbling that must have been

for her at one time.


I have noticed there are things I can do when I don't have the strength, because of medication.  One

is I learned to pray for others.  I learned to pray for my family and friends.  I learned to be an

encourager.

There are some things I learned about my heart and my need for Jesus.  There are times in our lives

when we are made weak.  It is at those times when Jesus becomes most important.  Or it has been

for me.  I ask for His strength daily to get through my day.

I have noticed in times of not being able to just jump in the car...I would crave a certain food.  I

would think I needed to buy something...

a pillow for my porch

some lettuce for salad

I need to take a walk

Get some work done

Help somebody

Give God glory

make things happen

I just needed to accomplish and finish a task.  I realized...I was looking for significance.  For safety.

What I really need at these times is not to go out and spend money.  But to run to Jesus.  It is an ache

that only He can fill.  During these times, I simply say...

I NEED YOU JESUS...

I need your peace...

Your Joy...

Your love and contentment..

Asking for what we need and Jesus meeting these needs is such a joy for Him.  There is nothing in

this world that can make our lives complete like an honest, dependent, confessing, loving relationship

with Jesus and others.

When Jesus is filling our hearts there is a lavishing loving that overflows with in us to others.  It is

not from a need for significance or completeness that  we love others and serve them but it is from an

abundance of joy.

We woman need to understand it is not our strength but Jesus.