Let the light shine

God with us...

What would Christmas look like if the meaning of Christmas went deeper than the gifts, the food, the games, rest, work...

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This year it took all of us working together to find that special time doing memory things.  

The girls and guys shopped.  They also cooked.  There were deserts such as dipping chocolates and cookie making and decorating.

My family is wonderful and they really took up the slack for me.

I am reminded that Jesus came into this dark world to enter my dark heart to show me my sin and selfishness but that He loves me oh so much.  This is the gospel I want my family to remember year after year.

The way they served each other brings me to worship.  Not that we are not without fault but this is a broken world and we all need Jesus to give us an unselfish love that He has given to us.

We had wonderful meal after another with friends and family.  We didn't even drag out the Christmas  China this year but the paper big plates and the red dixie cups.  It just did not get done this year.  One daughter decorated, my son helped entertain and he and the grandson cooked.  My husband cooked at his cook house.  My other daughters shared in the cooking and they all helped me buy presents.  It was a grand effort.

So the question at the end of the birthday of Jesus is was He the center of our time?  Did we love each other in an open and kind way?

It is will you come to the dark corners of my heart Lord and shine your light there.  May I be open about my self-centeredness and be changed.  Will you rescue me from me and may I love in ways I have been too proud to love before for your praise.  May I not want recognition but want others to see you, Jesus, not me in me.  May I be thankful for my family and friends and your gift of mercy and grace Jesus.

At the end of our time together and quiet falls upon the space we all were...I hear the whisper of the Lord and I love you princess.  My heart draws in His promise to never leave me and dwell within me and mine forever more.  Praise abounds for a love and heart I cannot make happen.  His!

Wounded Healer

By His Wounds You Are Healed

‘For this people’s heart has become calloused;

        they hardly hear with their ears,

        and they have closed their eyes.

Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

        hear with their ears,

        understand with their hearts

and turn, and I would heal them.’” (Matthew 13:15)

Christ did not come for the well but for the sick.

I have been struggling with many issues for months now that may not be apparent to the outside world.  Several of my friends are struggling with physical illness that you would not know just by looking at them.

Our physical world speaks to us in pictures of the spiritual world.  We all come in this world sick.  Sick with shame, guilt and condemnation that the Lord wants to heal us.  We come in self focused.

The gospel heals us.  Gods love for us brings healing and was demonstrated for us in the life, death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus.

We are a broken world with broken relationships.  I am aware of the brokenness of my own heart these last weeks.  Also aware of the heart of others.  Unless we are healed the heart can harbor hardness if we are living for ourselves.

When we see the grace that swallows up our brokenness we flourish and proclaim HIs goodness to us even in struggles.

One of the hardest things to do is to focus on God and others when you have suffering yourself.  Suffering turns the eyes inward.  You can help others have life as they are guided to keep their eyes on Jesus and the needs of others.  That is where there is life as you give the life of Christ, LOVE.

So as we are aware of our physical sickness may we also be aware of the condition of the heart that the Lord wants us to work with Him in the hearts of others.  Give life this Christmas.  A heart for others and Christ.  Remember the self centered heart is broken.  The healed life maybe honest about their pain but their focus is away from themselves as it brings healing.  To the life, love and stripes of Jesus.

Their was this young boy and his sister at our home last night.  His sister had downs.  He was so interested in her and looking out for her.  I ask him if he looked out for her.  My daughter said he does all the time.  I said do you know how special you are.  He said I am not special.  I said oh yes you are.  We gave hugs, cookies and talked some more.  Just that little bit of love blessed me and him.

When Christ was on the cross He said Father forgive them.  He said I endure for the joy, (us) before Him.  I will do the will of my Father.  Christ made it through by focusing on the greater good.  His eyes were on us and the Father and heaven.

Christ has come and we are healed by His sacrifice, stripes.  He has shown us the way to life.  Through sacrifice there is the joy of the Lord.   I pray for the Saints who are in the daily struggle to be broken for Him and that He sustains them with joy and peace.

Just as it was evident when Moses had been with God so it is with us, even in our suffering.  Our bodies are wasting away but one who knows the love of God and who dwells in HIs presence, they glow.  They bring life and blessing just because they have the glory of God around and in them.  It is the life and wonder of God in Christ.  It is the peace and joy that knows they are loved and blessed by their gracious Father no matter their circumstances.  They are kept under His wings.  The river of Grace has come over them with the gentle breath of Jesus.  There is no where they had rather be than in the mercy and plan of God.  Not because it is easy but because He is good and He heals where no man can go.  In the heart of the child of God.

Almost daily I pray for others but I pray for a gentle spirit.  One that trust in Gods sovereign plan for my day and those He brings into my life.  That He will guide me and give me the words of life for them.  That they know the love of Jesus through me.  I do not have this in and of myself.  Only by the gift and work of Christ through a broken, needy woman who can do nothing apart from Christ moment by moments work.  I know left to myself I am insecure and have feelings of guilt and shame.  Only by the blood and birth of Jesus and the reminder of the Spirit am I being mended beyond joy I never imagined.

As I sit and enjoy these pictures from last year...I pray for the time with my family this year.  That I do get what needs to be done but remember also what is important.  It is a look of unconditional love given to me by Jesus...and me to those around me as I remember all guilt and shame is gone.  How precious others are and lose myself.  Remember the Savior that has set me free to live and love from a heart touched by God.

You are forgiven

You are Healed

God is whispering for us to be Thankful always

Thankfulness is contagious.

Taste and see that the Lord He is good!

I have been thinking of ways to love even when I do not feel like it.  Feelings are not reliable.  It is hard to be thankful and be depressed.  This is the perfect time of year to spread thankfulness and gratitude.  It is a heart changer.  It begins by turning and humbling of the will to be thankful no matter what.

I have had some neat times with my family and friends.  Jordan, my grandson and I went fishing.  Well mostly him fish and me talk lol.  

We had a good time and he had to return to school.  When he woke the next morning he discovered all his fishing material had been stolen.  He was shocked but admitted it was not good to leave them in the back of his truck.

I gave him time to be sad and talk through it.  Then the next day I shared with him to be thankful.  He had lost his equipment but Jesus has given him so very much.  It just softened his heart and he agreed.

There are times I get down when my heart is not where I want it to be.  We do not have to give in to our feelings but surrender to the will and purposes of God.  We have a new heart and have the mind of Jesus.  He lives His life and love through us to others.  Believing He gives this to us as we turn to Him is one of the most beautiful things.  It is HIs glory when this transformation happens and we live it through us.

We cannot change our heart but we can cooperate with the Spirit.  We humble ourselves before the Lord and ask for repentance.  A changed heart.  His grace to change and His love to pour out through us to a broken world.  We can ask for brokenness for those we know and love.  For God to be gentle please in showing them and us our need for the Savior.  Rest before Him until His mercy and grace works a wonder of love and thanksgiving in us.

It is about an intimate relationship with God and others. It is about sustaining grace with joy instead of deliverance from troubles.  It is entering the dance of diving glory of heaven and spreading it here on earth through the Spirit by Jesus and us.  It is giving the love of God to an unlovely world made perfect.  Our Savior is rescuing us from a self centered life that relinquishes our control.

God is so serious about this thankfulness He writes about in HIs word, He decided to give us a banquet party. Thanksgiving.  Start today being thankful and spreading it in the world to those around you.  In all things give thanks.  God uses it all for good and beauty and wonder in His time and His purpose, where those around you praise Him.

The gift of Jesus brings a grateful heart always.  Accepting His plan for your life as a gift from a loving Father brings contentment, thankfulness and rest.  His grace is sustaining happiness beyond anything this world has to offer.  This is a gift of faith we ask for, that comes at times, trusting His love beyond struggles.  Thankfulness in suffering and struggles is the eclipse of His glory.  It is finally grasping the love of God beyond any circumstance.  His care and love for you beyond His very own life.

Fight the good Fight

Fight the Good Fight

“What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”^[a]—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him—

Last week I had a bad headache and slept night and day and night.  My son came and got me out of bed and on to a bobcat chopping wood to try to steer away the depression that had set in and made me motionless.

It was amazing what the outdoors and the labor did for my mental attitude.  Did for my heart, my health.


He talked to me about how hard it is to do the thing you know will make you better.  That it is not easy to make yourself get up and do things that you have no energy or seemingly will to do it.  That is where Christ comes in.  Doing what you cannot do.

My daughter said she does the hard thing because she likes the outcome.


I have gone through years of pulling my boot straps up and making myself suck it up and just do the right thing.  I think I did it for all the wrong reasons.  I did it for me.  For me to succeed and look good and be right.  It was the heart that led me to bitterness and anger and hard heart when I did not get the result I wanted.


Now I may suffer to do the right thing but it is for the glory of God.  What He can do with and in me.

A heart He can transform in me that does things to enjoy God and others.  To not labor in vain but bring light to a dark world.  To show the goodness of God and hope when there seems to be no hope at all.  To do the hard next thing...That brings about joy and union with Jesus.

LAUGHTER IS GOOD MEDICINE FOR THE SOUL!!  SUNSHINE!  MY SON AND HUSBANDS DIRECTIONS WERE TO GET OUT AND WORK EVERYDAY.  TAKING LOTS OF VITAMIN D.

It is odd to me how we have to fight to have a normal life.  Hard work, giving to others, eating good food, sunshine, enjoying each other in good relationships that help you grow, laugh and care.  Focus on each other and God more than ourselves and the media.  Enjoying nature and fresh air.  Using life to build memories that will never fade away.  Learning to meditate and rest and ponder what life is and who people are and how to invest in them all.

A CURE FOR DEPRESSION?  MAYBE.  A GOOD LIFE IS WORTH A TRY!

God has a work He has planned to do in you and He will bring it to competition no matter what.  It will be brought forth by His love and His Spirit, by Jesus.  He will bring the fruit as you trust and surrender it will be beautiful even in the suffering.

I don't care what it takes, but if you get down, grab hold of someone, think... finish the race.  We do not give up, give in, quit, but do what it takes to keep on keeping on.  There is a prize and His name is Jesus and He holds on to you and He will never ever let you go.  Move into the very core of His being, into His heart where you enter into HIs suffering by yours.

Park daily in Gods word and the Spirit will write it on your heart.  Scripture will be there when you need it.  Pray continually and ask for help and rescue and glory to bring forth goodness He purposes.   Pouring my thoughts out on paper to Jesus daily and giving them to Him brings such peace.

IT IS THROUGH SUFFERING THAT WE LEARN  PERSEVERANCE AND JOIN IN THE VERY HEART OF JESUS.  HE SANTIFIES EVEN OUR SUFFERING TO BE FOR GOOD AND HIS GLORY.

Forgive as you are forgiven

Loving much because I am forgiven much.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

A Sinful Woman Forgiven

36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Himweeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”

So he said, “Teacher, say it.”

41 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”

43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”

And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped themwith the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

50 Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

My most favorite time is my families birthday.  Happy birthday my son.  Instead of celebrating he spent this year working in the hay field and having a roping at the Farm.  He is a joy of my life.  I don't know what his dad would do without him.

Spending time with family and loving it.

We can't be together without talking about Jesus, relationships and life.  I talk to my grandson about marriage, dating, living life and enjoying God and things to beware of.

I remember many years ago I use to have such a smart, underneath my breath, mouth.  Mockery.  Anytime someone would say something, I would have a quick tongue.  I would say cutting remarks. Huff or puff.  Roll my eyes.   I would try to hurt them more and deeper than they hurt me.

Oh I worshiped God and loved my family but my heart was selfish and self centered.  I wanted to look good.  I wanted to be right.  I wanted to win.   An automatic negative response.

We all come into this world centered on ourselves.  Satan has a hold on us.  It is the process of suffering and teaching and lots of love that we begin to think of others more than ourselves.  

Once taken captive of the love of Jesus just as I am.  Coming to a point where wanting Jesus way and the Fathers way more than my selfish way. It is Christ in me.   I know I do not know what is best without asking my Father.  He works in my heart to make me willing.  He does in me what I cannot do.

I see that humidity is the way to defeat evil.  Gods weakest point beats evil, hate, lying, stealing, unclean sex, unforgiveness, habits and addictions that keep us captive. The hardest of hearts that run from Him are brought near into loving submission and surrender.   No matter what the struggle the victory has been won.   The story has been written and it cannot be messed up.  Christ won our hearts and we are His warrior.  The confidence of living in the already finished and the love of the Father is the assurance we need to keep the faith in the most difficult situations.

During these years of mental disorder I have been able to relate to every person in the bible.  Their sin I could see in my heart.  It has been a real struggle to move out of focusing on my sin and realizing the love of God for me.  Now when I see my sin, I praise God for Jesus and praise Him for the cross.  I fold up in the loving arms of my Father and rest, forgiven.

When Christ died on the cross He defeated evil and paid the price for our sin.  We are declared righteous with the inputed righteousness of Christ.  So when the Father looks at us He does not see our sin but the beauty of Jesus.  Holy, righteous.  Living out of this righteousness and claiming it.  Existing in the presence, acceptance, and love of God.

So we begin to see beauty in all of creation and those you know and love.  You see that building others up and encouraging them is the way to change.  Love triumphs wrong.  So you are determined to love others to the arms of Jesus.  For them to see the beauty in themselves and the wonder of Jesus and the gospel in them.  It is through death that there is life.  Our words bring death or life.  Our works are predestined for kingdom building before time.

So be brave and do good.  Humble yourself before your God and others so the glory of God may shine through.