Come as you are~~~~~~~~

My, Home Town~and the remembrances of the 1950's with my sister, my mom and my dad.  The horrors I felt and the joys of being a southern girl in a wonderful family but a hard time for us all.

A picture of the gathering place of the blacks at the beach in Charleston, SC

with my daughter and her son, my grandson.

Until this day I still cry at the mention of the black/white days in my childhood in my hometown of Attalla, Alabama.  I remember it like it was yesterday... the news of churches being burned.  People being hung.  People loosing their lives and hoping for something better to come for black and whites alike.

I am not clear as what was really in my mind as a child.  I did not witness these events but it was talked about.  We had a black and white television set then, we called it,  but I don't even remember seeing the news on these horrible events.  My parents were very protective of me.

Since those years, long ago, we all have no doubt seen movies and news reports on what actually happened.  I am sure some stories are still being told of good things even, that happened way back then.  My experiences went something like this...

I always have had a heart for my black friends.  Even to this day, they are an active part in my families life.  Our black friends are a part of our family in many ways.  They care for us, counsel us.  We laugh together.  We have had victories together.  There are times we grieve together.  Just recently was a heart break for us all as our dear friend suffered a great loss.

I don't exactly remember, as a child,  having a specific young black friend.  We lived in an all white neighborhood.  That is just the way it was.  Blacks and white separate.  That was the battle for freedom for our brothers and sisters to have liberty as we whites did.  We lived in an old army camp ground.  I don't remember having a friend on the bus.  As the young blacks were separated from the whites on the school bus.  On the city buses.  It was a sad day to me as we were not allowed to be seated together.

I remember the owners and officials  closing down the soda fountain at the local drug store.  Because of integration, blacks and whites.  I remember seeing pictures of the hangings in movies.  Nights we sat watching news of the riots.  I know there was a horror during that time and a fear for all.  Blacks and whites.  We were not all responsible.  There were those who hated the blacks.

I remember riding the school bus to school when in elementary school.  Later we drove to school. My family and my friends.

Mom and dad had a shoe store down from a black neighborhood. Those ladies and men used to come into the tiny store my parents owned and built from nothing.  My sister runs the family business now. She is a good business woman, like my mom.   I am so proud of her and her family for carrying on the family heritage of serving the community, charities, and family as they do.  She has such love and care as my parents did.  I am till this day, proud to be an Anderson, a Ford, an American Citizen and a godly christian woman.  One who loves God and loves people because He first loved me.  Not perfect by any means... just me.

When I was young...I remember a black lady working for mom, dad, my sister and I.  My sister was not in school at that time.  I remember coming home and the lady friend, ironing.  My mom baking homemade chocolate pies and cakes for us all.  We were a family.  We really did not have much of anything during those  years.  I remember knowing the blacks all  had even less than we did.   My dad worked two jobs when he was out of work.  He was a TV repairman and also a milkman.  Once they started the shoe store my mom ran the business.  My dad traveled away on weekends.  He would sleep in the car at the business.  To be first in line to buy closeouts.  To sell at a record price and it all paid off.  They became a success in our little town of Attalla.  All the big name stores respected and tried to compete with mom and dad.  But could not.  They were a team and I and my sister were proud as I am still now.

We loved the lady who came to our home and worked with my mom.  She loved us so well.

The blacks, I remember, swept their yards with a broom.  I remember how clean some of the front yards were then.  They were my friends from afar and near.  In Virginia where we lived, the blacks were much better than most of us whites as far as education.  They were unbelievably smart, intelligent that is.  That seemed to make a man better in those days and even now.  My how we put a value on a person.  God says we are valuable because we are His.  His children, free, loved and forgiven.  How behind we were in seeing through Gods eyes His love for mankind.  We still are.  All of us in the value of a person, especially I believe, in the heart of the South.  If a person can grasp who they are in Christ and what Jesus did for them at the cross there would be no guilt, shame, fear or prejudice.

In Heaven we are all loved as firstborns.  Our Father loves us as much as He loves Jesus, His only begotten Son.  May we trust Him and be obedient and repent  Let's not take grace for granted, as I have.  But work till the night is coming.

Let's remember those old black gospel hymns... where the blacks... could not remove themselves from the hard slavery they were in.  They remembered heaven in their hearts and minds to keep pressing on with great joy!  To this day those heroes of the faith,  speak to my heart.  My daughter has listened to the gospel songs on Sunday.  They are still speaking to us from the grave and bringing us back to the freedom that was fought for in the Civil War.  That we are free!  All we have to do is believe the gospel and live out of that freedom.

 It is my prayer that we do not give in to our fears and weaknesses.  We serve God and love others until we can no longer physically or mentally do so.  For me...This is important issues.  So important I am willing to write as best I can remember.

God sees people of great worth and value.   He loves His children no matter what...their color.   Neither should be bothered by a persons color or give them value according to this worlds standards.  We are His most valued creation.  All of us.

May we love each other as He loves us.  Jesus was a Jew.  He did not have black, nor white skin.  He was amongst the sinners.  The prostitutes, the thieves, the tax collectors, and all kinds of sinners like you and me.  He loved them to repentance.  He ask them to come to Him, just as they were.  He ask us today to come.  Then, to go and sin no more.  We all do sin of course... but we shall turn from going our own way.  Turn to trusting in Christ and Christ alone...It is finished.

I hope this resonates with your heart in this time in history.   That we sense the urgency in families, our homes, and marriages to love unconditionally.  That our churches have a boldness to reach out.  See color and love each other, no matter what our economic status or educational degrees or our differences maybe.  To minister to the hurting and the broken, the mentally and physically sick, the dying of the families in our culture today.  That we would minister to those whose hearts are breaking, no matter what the reason maybe.  To speak the truth in love.  In kindness and gentleness and humility.  To trust Jesus for our sins and love Him with all our hearts.  To have a passion to make disciples and spread the gospel.  We are the righteousness of Christ in Him.  It is finished.

Free in CHRIST!

My Journey Back Home~

It has been a long, hard, joyous road since my last post.  I went through Lent, extreme.  I did not take my meds correctly for a long time.  I had the worse psychotic break I ever have had.  I am not speaking of the consequences of it but the trauma to my heart and soul.  I saw the magnification of heavens glories and hells terrors.  We are in a battle for the minds.  Mine was safe an secure because of God, my loving Father.  His Son.  And the Holy Spirit.  I needed my family and as always they were there for me with the security and care that only they could give me at such a difficult time as I happened to be in.

I went to my daughters to heal.  She kept me from going to the hospital.

My doctor says I am a miracle.

I just wanted you to know God can use anything He chooses to give you a heart for your family and for Him.  I began Lent seeing things had captured my heart.  God used my sickness for me to spend time with my wonderful other daughter who I know more now than I ever have.  All my children have helped me and are such a gift to a mother.

Mothers Day was wonderful.  I got such thoughtful, meaningful,  beautiful gifts from my girls.  I was  treated like a queen by my daughters.  A lovely diner with my son, his girlfriend and her mom.  I so love those people.  My oldest daughter has a lovely home and cooked the most delicious meal.  We all had such a good time.  She took care of me for months.  Now thats a mothers dream to be cared for in her old age by her children.  She is a delight.  Such great memories there with her.

So I am just posting a hello.  Thanks for still checking in here.  I don't know where the blog is headed.  I would love to do one different but lack the help in making that happen right now.  So I will post here my plans when I know more.

Go back and read other post if you will.  I do pray for God to keep your heart encouraged.  One of my heroes is my daughter at our home.  She encourages me so to keep doing the hard thing with joy.

My other daughter counseled me with her counseling wisdom and gave me more than she will ever know by letting me into her heart and home for almost two weeks.  I hope to keep visiting.  I want to continue to be with my daughters friends, neighbors, in my children's hearts and homes.  To even spend some more quality time with my son.  He is a great thinker.  All my children know the makings of a person so well.  Only God can teach that.  It is an intuition.  A God given gift my children have.

My son has also been so good to me.  He lives on the farm also with us in another house.  He has helped his dad so very much.  My husband couldn't keep up the farm in the manner in which he does without my son.

I have spent time with my grandson.  Now there is a girl heart breaker lol.  Seriously he has a precious girlfriend whom we all love.  I got to spend time with her and she is so good for my grandson.  He is a great farm worker and baseball player.  I love that guy.  He is gorgeous and loves his mom and me too even lol.  We have great talks and hope he will come to the farm soon just to hang.

So from Ford  Farm's porch... our home to yours.  Don't let a day go by you don't encourage your children and husband. This is why I want to write now.  I want to be a better wife, mother and friend to my family.  I am ready to open my heart to them without reservations.  To guard my heart against my own sin and repent when I mess up.

There is an angel watching over you and me and it is our own children.   Ask the Father to speak to you in the illumination of your mind... His great love for you.  Pray for your husband and children daily when you can't sleep.  I will, God willing, be writing on ways I have learned to take time for me and relax and rest in Gods love for me.  I realized these things through one of the most difficult times in my life.

God has a plan for our lives and we can't mess it up.  I suppose we can make it hard on ourselves but even that He uses for our good and His glory.  So be strengthen in the might and power of the Lord to keep on doing the hard thing with joy.  Know!  He takes great delight in YOU~

Lent, See you soon, Easter.

Hey friends you guys are so faithful to come to read in hopes of learning more about God.  I consider it an honor to write here for His glory.

I wanted you to know I am in the midst of Lent.  One of the things I have given up during this time is blogging.

I don't know if I will return here yet or to a new website.  I am seeking help with this and the Spirits direction.

Lent is our awareness of how little we are in control.  That God is truly sovereign.

Also I was aware that there were things that had captured my heart away from my family and my God.  I loved other things more than I should... lets say. Even good things like our marriage, our husbands, children and jobs and ministry can be an idol for us.  We go to them to give us what only Jesus can.  Such as significance, worth, comfort, love and acceptance.  We are afraid of rejection and pain.

 I have surrendered these things to God in hopes of giving Him more of my heart.  In turn inviting my family into closer and more personal relationships with me and Him.  Sometimes there is a lot of pain in giving these idols of our hearts up.  The christian world calls it dying to self.  It is self denial.

In hopes that Christ will be center of our lives is our goal.  Worship!  That we will seek His will not ours.  It is a surrendering to God, all that I have and all that I am.  Only when Jesus is the most important thing to me can I love another person selflessly.  The stakes are high and the demands on us is total surrender. His surrender.  It is identifying with Jesus on the cross.  He gave it all up for you and me.  This is not just Lent.  But a life we continually learn to live through suffering ultimately.

Can't wait to get on with what He has for us.  But now I am feasting at His table and loving it.  Things can be hard in our lives.  The peace and contentment and joy that is in the Lord is unconditional to me.  It comes in trusting in Christ alone.  It comes through repentance and faith. Then I am able to surrender the things that has my heart.

Our conscious are troubled if we are in rebellion to God.  Our conscious are bothered if we are in disobedience to God.  Until we confess and He brings us to repentance.  Just as I am now over writing this blog.  I have already posted in ways I cannot change.  So I am asking Him to use it and to show me more of my wayward heart to the things of this world.  Even the good things.

When we are convicted in our hearts and confess.  We ask Him to bring us to repentance.  To reconciliation with Him and others.  Our sin, turning to ourselves instead of God, keeps us from drawing near to Him.  Repentance is Him drawing us back and our response to turn to Him once again.  It is a life of dying and living.

A repentant, struggling sinner is always welcome at the table.

We settle for crumbs many times and not the elaborate banquet celebration diner, that He has set before us. With other dignified and honors guest. Sinners saved by grace. Just like me. Saints shinning with His glory, that is so bright.  It is beyond us to behold the glow. His glory is breath taking and the presence of the Spirit is all beautiful. We are enveloped in a love.  It is divine and magnificent and eternal. The places are set. The feast is being served. All we have to do is eat.  The goodness of our Lord and what He has prepared for us in this life and after. It is a fulfillment, a sustaining satisfaction.  Nothing of this world can fathom or deliver.

Blessings friends. Pray for me please as I am on the journey with Christ. My prayers go with you all. That we love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. And our neighbor, including our enemies ,as ourselves.  That we acknowledge Him as Lord with out lips and how we live.  So others will see our lives and worship HIm.

Wash me and I will be clean. Whiter than snow.

My daughter's house.

I love, when it snows.  I don't know where I was exactly, but without warning.  Somewhere on my way between home and the store, large white glistening flakes began to fall.   I was excited and continued into the store with the thoughts that we could be house bound for a couple of days.  Just the walk from my car to the store was like a winter wonder fairy land.  I loved it.  I felt the cold melting on my face and I took a deep inhale of life.

By morning the farm was breath taking.  One reason I love the snow is because of taking pictures.  I had hoped all of us at the farm,  could gather in the snow in the afternoon.  My husband knew of my plans and he said, if you want to get those pictures you better go ahead.  The snow is melting fast.


As I approached the other side of the farm, I began to pray...Lord let me see your beauty.  Let me see with your eyes.  The snow is melting and I don't see it.

 I parked the car and walked around with my camera, scripture began to come to my mind.  Then roll off of my tongue.  I was singing and worshiping God, to Him, in the most beautiful moments.  It was moments I won't soon forget.  Time seemed to stand still.

It came to me in the mindfulness of it all...That is what we are.  We are washed whiter than snow.  We are the new fallen snow.  These truths sank deep within my being and brought such happiness and freedom.  All I could do was experience the truth I knew to be true.  Tears began to stream down my cheeks.  It was such a epiphany.  I hesitated and drew it all in rhythm .  All  at once I was fully known and fully loved.  Such a joy came over me.


I took a quick glance down the drive, stood and focused.  It was muddy, dirty and messy.  It was hard on my heart and my imagination. The beauty that I saw just a short while ago seemed to have vanished before my eyes.  The snow was melting away.  Somehow in the ugliness I was captured, but in another way.  The scenery I had just froze in time, within my camera, moments later, was gone.

How quickly we forget... who we really are "in Christ".  The thought of being forgiven makes no real impact and brings no relief or change in our lives.  No freedom.  No joy and peace and contentment.

When our hearts begin to receive all God has for us in Christ...We begin to know and see who we really are.  Who God created us to be.  Our love is becoming perfected.  We sense a true caring for others more than ourselves.  The chains fall off and we began to take risk we have never taken before.
Gods will becomes ours.  His love for His people and us become ours for Him and others.  We take on the beauty of our Creator in fresh, new confession and repentance and faith.  It is a life long journey of knowing and understanding what Christ has done for us at Calvary.  But we begin to see evidence of these things.  The person of Christ lives through us.  We grasp a taste of what we truly mean to Him and how very much He cares.  That He is so for us.

I can only worship and trust my God who is full of mercy who has brought me to this place in my life time of loving Him.  He has breathed life into these dry bones.  Rescued me over and over again from death itself.  He has brought order in my confused world.  Only He can bring goodness out of me.

When we believe the lies that we do not have purpose and are not loved.  The dirt, guilt and shame of our once, delighted in selves, take over.  We forget the promises God has made to us.  We forget our inheritance.  That we will reign with Christ.  That all He has is shared with us.  Even His glory is to be manifested in us.  Our Heavenly Father loves us as He loves His own Son.  His very Spirit dwells within us never to leave.


We must remind each other of the good news of the Gospel.  That Christ died for sinners.  That we are righteous...His perfect life is ours and our sin is His.  We are a new creation.  We have a new heart and the mind of Christ. He is praying for us. It is finished.  It is completed.  We are delighted and loved.  All we have to do is believe within hearts.  Live it out through each and every day, in the power of the Spirit.  That others may worship Him.

This is what I saw on that Day!