No Pain no Gain

The Lesson God is teaching me today is...no pain, no gain.

We left home about 1:30 am.  After a few hours sleep I was rested and ready to go.  We drove to Atlanta to check in our 5:30 flight.  We had a two and a half hour flight and arrive in Colorado.

The train to the concourse was closed.  So we had to carry our luggage down stairs and to the C Concourse.

Once arriving we then went to a bus to get out rental car.  We were taken straight there.  We got our car and drove around Denver until things opened.  We shopped awhile and then had a great lunch.  The 2'oclock breakfast was gone.

We continued in a two hour breath taking drive to our condo in Key Stone, Colorado.  The mountains are beautiful here.

The 12 hour trip here was not easy.  I went to sleep soon after we got here.  Thought about how sore I would be today.  But after waking up at 7 am I am rested and ready to go.

We had a great breakfast about 9am.  Some are skiing and others hunting.  I want to do something while here rather than site see but not sure what yet.  I feel a little daring for me.

God is so full of surprises for us.

I am learning to step out of my comfort zone.  Leaving being controlled by fears and anxieties and take a risk.

To depend on Gods grace, His strength and wisdom, to do the hard thing.  It is not easy because we want what we want.  We have desires and fleshy cravings that bring us to an end instead of life abundant.  I am getting a taste of this and I am blown away by Gods willingness to meet my needs and to give me the power and desire to do what I cannot do.

Grace is not passive.

I love spending time in the presence of the Lord.  But when you have been there and experienced His glory and love it just has to go somewhere.  It is a fullness and it has to overflow.  This is what the Father did for us in Jesus.  The love of the Father, Son and Spirit overflowed to us.  When something is shared there is so much more joy in it.  God did not lack anything but had so much love it was for the joy the Lord endured the cross.  Spilling over to us was that joy.

This joy comes through surrender, trusting God and stepping out and being will to do the hard thing.  It all is a work of the Spirit.  But it is not easy always.  It is giving up our lives in order to find it.

Enjoy!

It was not easy getting here but oh so worth it all.  I would do it all over again.  It is the majesty of God, the blessings of good friends and family and enjoying beyond what I could not imagine.  Thank you for coming along with me.

Paul said he beat his body into submission.  That to live by the Spirit you do not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Years ago some of the Saints actually beat their bodies.  This is not what Paul is speaking of but he compares it to an athletic who trains to finish the race for the prize.

Each day holds a surprise.

In the next few days, I want you to go away with me.

Saturday morning I am going on a trip with my son and his friends to Colorado.  I am going from the

hills of South Carolina to the mountains of Colorado.  From 70 degree weather in December to the 

snow covered state with freezing degrees I don't even have clothes to wear.


God has been setting me free...

Three years ago, I found myself sitting on my porch at the farm for hours at a time.  I would then go 

to my computer and zone out from reality on my computer.  Then as depression would hit, I would 

find myself in my bed once more for days at a time.  My house was neglect, my husband and my life.

All I did was exist.

I was filled with anxiety and fear.  I could not leave my house but for an hour at a time once a week 

or so.  I was a controlling, fearful person who did not trust God or love people more than myself.  I

was self focused and introspective on my sin, guilt and shame.


In the next few days, I want you to read my journal.

I hope to send lots of time with God and His creation.  Lots of time with my son and his friends.  Just 

soaking in the creation of God.  Taking pictures and meeting people from around the country there to 

do the same.

I will be journaling and I want to write it here for you daily, is my plan.  I want to post pictures of 

what I see and learn while I am there.

So it will be fun.

It will be a lot of fun, so invite others.  Lets go on a trip together.  Lets move out of our comfort zones 

and dare to experience God and His world as never before.  I have no idea what to expect but I know

I expect amazing things from my amazing God.


Use your imagination and lets GO!

This year I want to be different.  I want my life with God and others to be different.  I want to risk 

and be daring and open to change and enjoy as I never have before the things God has for me.  I want 

to trust God and expect surprises from Him daily.  Good things He has for me and mine.  I want to be 

a part of it all.  I want to count it all joy.  I want to be thankful in all things.  To glorify God in my life 

to serve others and to be about repentance and humility.  

I cannot even think about these things about from the life of Christ being lived in and through me.  I 

want to soak in His presence and feast at His table and wash other feet and let Him wash mine.  I 

want to lose my life that I may gain it.  I want to die to my will so that I might live bodily in the 

resurrection of Christ and His power.  I want to notice the small things and be in awe of them.  I don't

want to miss a part of life being afraid or anxious to live in the fullness of God.

Henri Nouwen says each day holds a surprise.  Only as we seek to see it can we experience it, see it

and participate in it.  God is a generous gift giver.  He gives good gifts in the good and the bad.  Look 

for it, expect it and drown yourself in it.

My son said we have this little bit of life to invest in eternity.  Each day is a gift my friend always 

said.  Live in the moment.  In the here and now for tomorrow may never come.  All we really have is 

this very moment.  Live it to the fullest.  You were promised not just an ok life but an abundant life in 

Christ.

So goodbye South Carolina.  Tomorrow tomorrow I love ya tomorrow.  Its only a day away...

Time for change,

1 Samuel 16:7New International Version (NIV)

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Time for change...

With the new year coming, many of us are thinking about what our hope and dreams are for the new year.  We are also thinking about change.  How I want to change.  With that comes resolutions.  We resolve to do better than we did the year before.

We set goals, prepare for failure.  Out with the old, in with the new.  New and improved behavior for the old bad ones.  Some call these habits.  Some call them addictions.

So we plan to get organized, quit being lazy, stop smoking, eating too much, don't work so hard, work some, don't shop so much, don't waste more time...the list goes on and on and on.

So we suck it up.  Make a game plan and into the new year our plans take us.  Only to find us a few months later back into our old habits and ways again.  They say it takes 2 months to change a habit.  But are we really changed?

I ask myself, why change anyway?

Do I want my life to go better?  Do I want the admiration of others or the praise of God some would say?  Do I want to feel better about me?  God wants me to change anyway right?  To get better...

This morning as I was having my time with the Lord, I ask Him to show me about addiction, habits.  

Here are some things I have learned...

1. One of the purposes for sin in our lives, for Satan's work,  and for the law is to bring judgement to us.  We must feel the hopelessness and guilt of our sin.

2. God tares down, but He builds us back up.  We become so desperate and hopeless only the rescue of Christ can hold on to us.

3. We are to set each other free from guilt, and oppression and wounds and give the good news of the gospel.  Christ died for sinners.  We are righteous in Christ.  Forgiven.

4. God's goal for us in our suffering is to make our heart tender.  God was pleased to bruise His Son.

I have shared before, I have smoked since I was about 18.  It has been the one thing I could not get under control.  It has broken me in pride, self righteousness and a hard heart.  There are other things in these last 20 years that have also done the same.

Many times I have prayed for God to set me free.  I have held a rotten lung, had acupuncture, been hypnotized, taken meds, worn patches and chewed gum, exercised.  Finally I just told my friends and came out of the closet.  I was tired of hiding.  They just loved me anyway.  In this addiction I have learned so much about God and His unconditional love for me.  About being forgiven.  I have received compassion for others with addiction.  Even for the lying and sneakiness and rebellion.   I do not condone it but I do not see myself apart from the grace of God any better.

I want you to know I am not giving you license to stay in your addiction.  It is such a bondage.  It takes away freedom and blinds us.  It can harden our hearts.  Or it can break us.  We are in Gods mercy for this.  It not only hurts us but it hurts those we love because we give our heart to it.

But what I am saying is God has got you.  If you are caught in a bad habit, it does not catch God by surprise.  He is not interested in getting the outside of you together.  He is interested in the humility of your heart.  Then the outside will happen as you lean into Jesus.  Only through humility and tenderness can we be obedient through dependence and reliance on Him.  Any other way is only self reliance, even if you pray while trying to get it done.  Not an excuse to sin but a call to trust Gods perfect plan for your life.

Change of habit is a fruit of the Spirit.  It is being set free from guilt, oppression and lies from Satan.  The more you are set free.  Ask God for His Spirit and look to Jesus to be Lord over your life the more free you will become.  I prayed so many times for self control. To know Gods love for me more and to have more faith and trust Him more.

This morning I prayed.  Father, I give you my addiction to smoking.  I want what you want in my heart.  I don't care anymore if I smoke until the day I die, I want you to work in my heart the work you want done through it.  I want a tender heart for you Father.  The Spirit nudged me to get up, run water in my pack of cigarettes and throw them away.  I said I can't Lord.  Then I thought you can always buy more.  Don't let the fear of failure hold you back.  Here is the way walk in it.

So I don't know what is going to happen.  I know the smoking thing is not the issue so much with me now.  I see why God allowed it in my life for so long.  I have been in such bondage in my heart with fear, depression and anxiety. I have had such wrong beliefs about God in my heart and Him towards me.  But before that, I was so so strong and self sufficient.  God had to break me to build me.  He had to bruise me to heal me.  I have to die to be raised.  Dying is painful.  Not getting our way is painful.  Giving up our control is painful.  It is a bitter sweet.  That is where there is peace and life.

It is like the Shepard who rescued the lamb from going outside the pasture where the wolves were.  He picked him up and broke his leg and bound it and placed him around his neck until he heals.  The lamb will never leave the shepherds side again.  

We all like sheep have gone astray.  We cannot find our own way.  We self destruct.  God uses the guilt, the oppression and the lies to bruise us.  Then He gives us truth, opens our eyes and sets us free to live and obey Him out of a love that we have never known before.  No one or nothing can hold us back and that is how I believe we can change.  It is for me anyway.  If you can learn from this.  If God can set you free beginning now, I praise Him.  Then so tell someone else what you have learned and how God is changing you.

Happy New Year!

I have a message for you....

This is the most wonderful Christmas I have had...

I have said this over and over this year.  Advent has been wonderful, I told my praying friends.  I think I will keep it up until Jesus comes again.  Then I will just be with Him totally and completely.

As I have posted my decorating and how absolutely Merry I am...in the back of my mind I have also been thinking about loneliness.  How since the fall and the separation from God that we all still battle loneliness.  If we are still and quiet and don't feed it with the world we will sense its presence.

I also thought about those that this is a hard time of year.  We have all read the comments for those with compassion.


One thing I have ask myself over and over...why did Christ come.  Why...

There are so many thoughts here that man has made simple and complex.  It is inexhaustible.  Yes only man, God man could die for the sins of man.  It was the only way to have a perfect man to pay the price for imperfect man.  It had to be God.  But God could not die.  He had to become the perfect sacrifice.

He brought us near to God again.  But this time through His Spirit indwelling in us.  We all are just as called as Mary, the virgin, who had the indwelling of the living God with in her wound.  Us within our hearts is the very Spirit of God, for those who are His.  Never to be separated.

Christ had to come incarnate us to know our pain, suffering, in every way we would know it.  He had to know the affects of the fall on us to save us.  There is nothing you will ever experience that Jesus does not know first hand how you feel.  Because He is the answer to it all.

He came to destroy the works of the devil.  The one thing the devil has against us is our sin.  He tempts us and then makes us feel guilty.  Christ came to take away our sins.  We are justified.  Just if I never sinned.  This is how we are to God.  Sinless, spotless, righteous with His righteousness, really, right now!

It was a design to bring Him the most glory through a broken world.  Bringing life out of a dead humanity.  It is a beautiful plan through suffering and bringing wholeness and peace.

So is Christmas for the Merry?

I am sitting here sick, but much better.  My family will not be together this Christmas for the first time in my motherhood.  This is the first time I could not make my Christmas Merry for some of my children.  This year it is up to them and being with those they love other than me.

The plans I have had for weeks of exploding with joy to my family on Christmas day are not going to happen.

So who and why did Jesus come?  For the Merry?


So this Advent I finally know...

Jesus came not for just for the Merry but for the broken hearted.  The ones who won't be with family as they hoped.  Maybe it is a mixed family, a separated family, a broken family or no family at all.  Maybe there has been abused and oppression and death and illness.  Maybe there  has been more sadness for your loss of those you love than you can hardly bare.  Whatever your pain or your suffering Jesus knows it and He came near.  Emmanuel.  He is God with us!  He is our Peace.  We are told Jesus came for the sick not the well.  This is all of us.

He does not fix our painful circumstances always but He moves with us in them.  He redeems them in time but we do not always know when that time will be. But it is a promise from Him to us.  Don't be afraid to claim it.  He loves it when we believe Him.  Hebrews 11 talks about the people who believed but had not seen in their lifetime.  Can we see the hope?

It is not a celebration of the good life or the perfect people or the easy circumstances.  It is a celebration of Christ.  The baby, not born in a castle but in a dirty, smelly, dark manager.  He brought light and hope and celebration to a people and a world that cannot fix themselves or others or find life in anything they have tried...He really is all I have.  Even in the midst of my struggle I know, He really is all there is.  His grace and His mercy to me.  This is the cry of the brokenhearted.

So He is with us, Emmanuel

So why does He say, do not fear, I am with you?

Why does He say, be anxious for nothing but pray to me?  Tell me all about it.  I love you

Why does He say, Grace is for the humble?  I am with the broken hearted.  When you hurt I am near.

Why does He say forgive as you are forgiven?  I forgive you more than you can know or understand. You could not bare it all.

Why does He say, you were lost but now you are found?  I will direct you, ask me.

Why does He say I have come to Redeem you?  There is no condemnation for you in Christ.  I will make all things right again but oh so much more.

I will give twice back what Satan has robbed from you.

Why does He say I am the light of the world.  I will bring you out of darkness.

Why does He say I am the way, the truth and the life.  Know my truth.  It will set you free.  Believe in me.

He is the great Physician, the healer, the comforter.

He knows all about you and He adores you more than you can ever imagine.

He tells us not to do the very thing He knows we will do and He says... I am,

                                                     CHRIST IS THE ANSWER TO ALL


So this is still the most wonderful Christmas I have ever had.

Because my family and I know this is a celebration of Christ.  I have sat in His presence and in His glory and rejoiced over Him. I must say this is the first year I have even come close to seeing His deep love and care for me in ways I never understood before.  I think all I had to do was say what a great Christmas it was for me for it to fall apart. Like I am going to see if it is really true.  We have all, you and me, been hurt and have hurt. We crucified our Lord but we stand today forgiven.   We have laughed and played and had great joy in our lives.  May this Christmas bring more peace and joy than you have ever had because Christ has come.  He has brought hope to a broken dying world.

                                                    He is the Prince of Peace...the Fourth Advent

So I have come with a message for you...you know who you are...my dear friend, the hurting, the sick, the abused, the oppressed, the anxious, the fearful, the alone, the struggler, the misfit, the ones with regret and a horrible past too painful to look at, the broken...Don't say this Christmas is not for me...I am sad.  You are the very reason there is a Christmas.  He came for you, for me.  To give us a peace, in a horrible circumstance, this world does not understand.  To bring glory to Himself.  Because it is not of this world but of Him.  Go to Him, tell Him, seek Him. You may not be at a place where you can see it now.  The pain maybe too great.  But the more you remind yourself of His love for you the more you will be able to see a glimmer of light in this dark, dark world.

 He has a wonderful plan for your life...It is to know Him intimately.  It is to turn ashes to beauty for His praises.  He is in control and He is with you in the midst of it all.  He will be found.  Peace on earth, good will, toward men.  Merry Christmas family.  I love you dearly.

Give the gift of receiving.

Luke 17:11-19

11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 

12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 

13 and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" 

14 When he saw them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed. 

15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 

16 He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him--and he was a Samaritan. 

17 Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 

18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" 

19 Then he said to him, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well."

Grace Shatters Our Pride...

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  Many things had gotten me caught up in the corners of my mind.  There seemed to be no escape.

I went out, it was a beautiful day, and began gathering some pine.  I had some thoughts about placing around in the den with some pine cones I had also collected with a friend.

In the midst of it all, a friend called.  She is one of my most fun friends.  She has a little black convertible.  She ask what I was doing and did I want to go for a ride.

We did go and it was so wonderful.  She was such a gift from God to me.  In our ride we began to talk about gift giving.  Other things have brought to mind to me how Grace, the gift of God, shatters our pride.


It is so much easier to give than to receive.

As I think about Christmas, I ponder grace and the receiving of gifts from God.


Have you ever heard or made one of these statements before?

If you don't like it just exchange it.  Feel free.

I think I will just regift.

It is easier for me to give mercy than receive it.

I think I will just put this away.  It is too pretty to use.

I don't really like this but they were so sweet to think of me.

What on earth will I do with this?

I don't have them anything.

I wonder how much did this cost.

Is this all I got?

I don't deserve this.  I have to repay them somehow.

Oh no..not a present.

You know me...I hate to shop.

You can't please them anyway.  They have everything


Maybe these are more familiar?

Thank you, this is the most wonderful gift I have every gotten.

I have never felt so loved by you.

You make me feel so special.

I will think of you every time I use this.

You are such a blessing to me.  Thank you.  I love you.

I will cherish this forever.

You make me feel so special.

How kind of you to think of me.

 I gave our daughter a piece of my jewelry.  She wisely gave it back to me.  I thought my husband gave that to me.  Now is not the time to give it to my children.

Maybe someone has given you so much you can never repay them.  A family, a person, ministry.  All you can do is say because of you I know grace.  I am so thankful for you and pray for you.  I promise to pass all you have given me on to another.  There is no way I deserve it.  All I can do is be indebted to grace.  TO give myself away.

The love and all that went with it I will give away.  I am different because of you.

This is all Jesus ask.  The Father ask.

Grace, Jesus, is the unearned favor and gift of God.

I want it to grip me daily what the Father has done for me in Jesus.   I want to be one of the ones to return and say thank you to all.  Only through Christ can I have this kinda heart to recognize the blessings in each and every day.

God not only gave us His Son

He keeps on giving

and giving

and giving.

Receiving and enjoying the gift and the giver is one of the most wonderful, blessed, humble things we can learn to do.  It not only blesses us but it blesses the giver.

It is more blessed to give than receive we are told.  There has been a time I have given to be blessed.  Sometimes when I have given I have given for me to be blessed.  It made me feel good to give.  That is ok.  It does feel good to give.

But when someone gives to me.  For me to bless them.. by being blessed by them... is an amazing gift to all.

This is what God did for us.  

He taught us how to receive when we don't deserve it.  He reached down to us in our unworthiness and made us His own child.  He took us off the streets and brought us into His own home and loved us.

When a person gives you a gift they are counting you as valuable and loved to them.  You are important in their lives.  You are special, unique, and they want you to enjoy the gift.  To enjoy them.

So this Christmas...be not only a good gift giver but even better, a good gift receiver.  

No matter if that gift is a very small package.  If it is completely not understandable to you. If you cannot see its purpose.  If it is not something you thought you needed or wanted.  If you think you don't deserve it.  If it is dirty and smells.  If it doesn't look like you expected.  If it did not come from where you thought it did.  If it is not pretty and esteemed not by appearance.  If no one else recognizes its value but you...

                Look into the eyes and the heart of the Gift Giver.  

That small bundle is more than you can possibly imagine.  Welcome Him and receive Him.  And all He brings with Him,  with love in return and gratitude more than you have ever had.  More than you have ever been given before, to the 

                                         Present Giver.

Then you will know no greater joy than this...The Third Week of Advent...JOY!

P.S. God gives us sursies each and everyday.  Look for them.  Expect to be surprised by Him.  He will be blessed and so will you.  He loves you so and is only about good gifts to His own.