Dream the Impossible Dream

Dream the Impossible Dream....

Dream the Impossible Dream

It is a bit of folk wisdom to say no two snow flakes are alike. Wilson A. Bentley photographed snowflakes on a black velvet cloth in the late 19th Century. He photographed approximately 5,000 snowflakes over a 40 year period and no two were alike.

If it is true that no two snowflakes are alike, how much more individual are each of us. Have you ever wondered why I like broccoli and you may not. Why I like traditional, country music, classical also, plays, birds, photography, reading and yet your interest may not be the same at all? Can you fathom a God that has created us each as individuals, individually with our own personal interest, likes and dislikes, longings, desires, personalities not to mention our appearances and social status or lack there of.  Can you fathom how vast our God is?  He created us each so different but yet in His image.  WOW!

Many of us have dreams. Many of us have given those dreams away or you might say, up. We have lost hope in our dreams... that they may never happen. I see dreams as a hope, even a faith if you will. Abraham hoped for a son and he was made the father of the faithful. I want to suggest to you that when our dreams, hopes are enveloped in the promises of God, they are not to be given up on.

Faith looks on the unseen. There is another world, the Spiritual world, and things are going on we can only imagine. But everyday someones dreams are fulfilled. Many in the bible did not see their dreams fulfilled but they came to pass, after their death.

I was talking to a friend about such dreams. She said she had no theological reference but she believed that even in heaven we would be working to fulfill these dreams. You may have a dream of no more conflict or anger, happy family, a ministry, writing a book, a well body or whatever your dream is. These things may happen after your life time or they maybe continued in heaven. Joni Ereckson who is in a wheelchair dreams of dancing in heaven. I want to be a singer and an artist. I love to dance and dance today with my broom, like it is Jesus. One day it will be...

We all long for no more sin, no more tears, no more pain. This is a dream of a perfect life that will be in heaven. I want to appeal to you to not give up your dream. But to work for it with all joy and might and enjoy God in the process. The process is as important as the fulfillment of the dream. I believe each of us, when we allow our hearts to thrive, have a God given dream we are to play a role in this life in fulfilling or hoping for.

Paul had a mission, a dream. It was to spread the gospel. Wherever he was his dream was in focus, whether in prison or free. Pray about it, your dream or getting one if you don't have one or one maybe you have let go of. A childhood dream. See what God wants you to do, who He wants to bring into your life and see just what our God, who creates even the snowflakes to be special, will and can do. So are you special and so is your purpose here on this earth. Think big or think small but think God. He is able to fulfill your dream or dreams if you have many, here on this earth, maybe after you or even into the Heavens...I believe the abundant life God promises us is filled with hope and love and dreams and faith.  It takes faith and trust to have a dream and trust God to do what we cannot.

I Will Give You Rest

This is a photograph I took yesterday while taking a ride with my friend Susan on a gorgeous day.

How Do I Choose To Live Today?

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
    nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
11 the Lord delights in those who fear him,
    who put their hope in his unfailing love.

How do I choose to live this day?  You cannot be angry or upset, if you like that word better, at someone and not have a hard heart toward the Lord.  You cannot compartmentalize your heart.  You cannot open one part of your heart and shut the other part off.  How do I choose to live this day.

I have had a medicine change.  I was drugged, tired and discouraged.  How my medicine was affecting me was affecting my hope, my heart.  What was I trusting in?  Who was I trusting in.

Another time another place this day of discouragement, of struggling in relationships and my circumstances would have put me to bed for 3 days.  But this day I decided I would trust in the Lord.  I would fear God Almighty.  To fear God is not to be scared of Him but to be in awe of who He is and what He has done.

I decided not to give in, give up but to persevere.  To press on in my relationships and living life.  I went to dinner with my husband and to my sons roping and had a great time.  I chose life.

I have noticed I am impatient.  I don't like to wait in long lines.  I like my food fast and quick.  I cannot compartmentalize my heart.  I must also be impatient with God.  Wanting Him to work quickly in me, my heart and the hearts of others.  Am I willing to persevere through, to press on, to live life or do I want to give up as I did once before?  Am I willing to wait but not a passive wait but an active wait.  A living of life.

We tend to be an all or nothing people.  We give it our all but if things don't work out according to our plans we give up or stop loving or doing for that person or at that task at hand.  But to press on when you don't get the results you expect or want when you want it or think it should happen or maybe the task is harder than you expect it would be, to continue to complete is perseverance.

Yesterday across the back pasture of the farm I saw six deer running across the pasture.  I wish I had a picture for you.  They had heads forward, leaping and running across the path with no fear.  They knew where they were going and nothing was stopping them.  It was a picture to me of how I could and would be in Christ with Him as my focus.  I am to never give up.  I persevere with His perseverance. 

Hebrews 12:1-2  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

My feet were, are to be as hinds feet.  To set on high places.  To set my feet upon a rock and press on.  I was not to give up, give in but to press into my Lord and Savior who is in charge of my day.  Who is teaching me at every point to be more like Jesus.  Suffering produces perseverance  I know this is one thing He was teaching me through this medicine change.  How to keep on keeping on but not a drudgery but with joy and peace and enjoying Him and others. 

 Love is patient 1 Corinthians 13.  To love God and love others I must be patient and not shut off my heart to others and to God.  To be open and vulnerable to Gods plan for my life is a hard thing when you are weak.  But to be honest in the face of weakness and to lean on Him for my strength, to just take the next step in faith, is a place of courage.  It is a confident meekness.  A confident humility in Him and that He is my hope.  Do I know Gods unfailing love.  Do I trust it?  Do I trust Him?

Feeling like I am in a fog

Hey friends. I have decided to take a break for the weekend. Hope to come back next week rested and renewed. Having some struggles with the medicine change and just can't get rested so I need a mental break. Insurance not wanting to pay.  Needing another preauthorization.

  I feel a little like I am in brain overload.  Like I am in a fog.

The insurance is closed because of weather.  Costing over $100 for 4 days until they open back up, I pray, on Mon.

So enjoy friends, family and the Lord this weekend. Whom ever God brings into your life or what circumstances. Trust Him even with the things you don't understand and when you don't, tell Him so. Ask Him for the faith to trust Him more. He meets us even in our sin of fear, failure, unbelief. He changes our hearts and gives us faith to endure and persevere.

I have a child who is really struggling right now. Their heart is in a good place but their circumstances stink! Would you please pray for her. My heart aches and not anything much I can do to make things better for her so I am trusting God is there with her.

Life is hard sometimes and we can't understand why some things happen that they do but they just do. This daughter use to tell me it is what it is. The question is do we trust Him still. I have learned that God is bigger than my unbelief even. That He is faithful even when we are not. He holds on to us and those we love. He rescues us from the world, the devil and even ourselves. We have to learn to wait sometimes and waiting can be very hard especially if we feel like we have wasted half our life like I have. But to say God even then you were in control and your were using it all for good. You are amazing and I love you and rest in your finished work you have done for me and with me now.

So I will talk to you next week friends. Blessings to all. May His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Abound in Love more and more...

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and praise of God.

The night before last, I went to my first "AA" meeting in a long time.  I needed support.  I needed to be reminded why I was not drinking my wine.  I sat there for about half of the meeting, and I left.  I heard about the chaos of life, the irresponsibility, the calamity and confusion of life and relationships, the lack of peace and happiness, that drinking can bring and I remembered.  I remembered what my life was like when I couldn't wait until 5:00 came.  How I would rearrange my life around my time alone with my sips of wine.  How my best friend had been a liar, that it could bring me life.  It actually robbed me of life.  I was withdrawn and to myself, escaping, being comforted and isolating in a world I thought I could manage.  I could because there was no other life but me and my wine for that period of time.  My wine did not bring life.  It robbed me of all of life and all Life, Himself had to offer me.
After listening for 30 min I decided I wanted no part of that life again and I was done.  So thank you for praying for me.

In Philippians 3 Paul recounts his old life.  He remembers who he was and that he never wanted to go there again but to find a righteousness that is in Christ and not of his own.  I was there.  The perfect wife and mother but it was in vain.  Paul went away for a time just to be with the Lord.  Then he was given eyes to see what his new identity was.  I had to go away for a time.  My time was with the Lord, learning and searching.  I was also in isolation and depression but my eyes were opened to my new identity.  I am a new creature in Christ.  The old has passed away and there is new.  I want to live in this newness, this new identity of life in Christ.  This life of righteousness, forgiveness and love and acceptance.

I went to my doctor yesterday.  He said I was actually better than before I got sick.  That I was alert, sharp and quick.  He attributed it to many things but he said the biggest thing is I am not drinking any wine.  That alcohol kills the brain cells.  He said you have just begun to experience life.  I shared with him how my strength and my mind was getting healthier and stronger.  That each day I could accomplish more and do more that I ever could since I had gotten sick years ago.

I am on a new med.  My old medicine is just not working.  I am only on one, an anti-psycotic med.  Over this next month I will be getting off the old one and on to the new one.  I have been doing this for a few weeks now but I could become over medicated.  My doctor said to call he will help me.  He said I could get lethargic, tired and confused.  I dread this process but I have to go through it to get into a better place.  My doctor said for the next 6 months the coming off the wine may increase my desire for it as I get better.  I may need to come to you again for prayer or go back to a meeting but for now, I am good, really, really good.

I feel like I have been dead and now I am alive.  I am excited about life and people and my family.  I am learning new and exciting things and am enjoying God in new ways.  It is gonna be fun and I want to take you along with me so thanks for reading.

I know many of you are really suffering.  I want to tell you I have a heart for the brokenhearted as never before.  For the addict and the homeless.  I am not sure what I am going to do about this desire to help those but I am already beginning to make some contributions I hope helps someone along the way. I am going to a meeting today in hopes of bring a conference to our town for the churches to become more aware of those with mental disorders and how to help the.   God has given me an unbelievable compassion.  Please know I care.  God cares.  You are not alone and trust in Him.  Open up to someone you can trust.  A pastor or a friend.  Get counsel.  Don't stay where you are.  Move out of the life of being frozen into the new life in Christ.  I so want this for you but to tell you also...God had a purpose for my time I spent sick.  He used it all, so don't look back except to learn from it. He uses even our sin for our good.  There are hard consequences to sin sometimes but not ever what we deserve.  Learn to wait on God and see what He has for you.  Wait, go...I can't tell you but the Spirit can and will.  Share with a friend and know I am praying.  Let Him be your comfort and your new identity.  Rejoice...this is the day the Lord has made.  Be glad in it.

Good bye for now my friends and may Gods richest blessing be with you...

Missed my meeting today.  Slept through it.  I don't know if I can do this.  Rick Thomas posted Moody, many are willing to do great things of the Lord, but few are willing to do little.  Lord I may have to do little.

It is what it is...

Hey prayer warriors. I need prayer. From a couple of weeks ago, but now worse, I have been tempted to find my peace in other things than Jesus. Old ways of drinking wine. I attended AA at one time. I don't think there is anything wrong with a glass of wine, but it is for me.

Since writing the article on Peace I have seen that I am also impatient. It is like satan is trying to throw me in the middle of confusion. I do have peace and have repented of my impatience, which I never had before. Maybe it is because I was stoic and then depressed. Now I am dealing with the real me.

I going to talk to my husband about this and have shared with my prayer chain.

I think God is using this to uncover deeper longings that He wants to meet for me.  I have been drowning myself in good stuff, readings by Spurgeon, videos and going to do bible study tonight. I have been trying to get in touch with friends to do something tonight since my husband has a diner he is going to. I do not think I need to be alone but maybe I do. Trusting God in the midst of temptation. Thanks for your prayers for me. You have carried me before and I know they will this time is why I am being so vulnerable.

Two friends just called me, Martha, who writes with me and another long time friend who is also in AA. I am longing for life, Martha said. We are impatient. We want life, life and satisfaction now. So I long for what I thought brought me life before, the false gospel. Only Jesus brings true life. The other brings death. But Jesus died that I might have life and have it abundantly. Do I trust it? Do I trust Him? We are not willing to wait on the true Life that Jesus is and brings. I am good now. The Holy Spirit sent these two friends to me to point me to the real life I long for Jesus. He is so faithful to meet our needs.

Thank you for praying for me that I persevere into the Life of Christ. I am praying for you and me now. That our Spirits are calmed and reassured of His faithful, undying love that died for me and you. It is time. It is time to move forward into Life, Himself. I am ready. I am righteous, even in my struggle. I am forgiven and delighted in. You and I are loved with an everlasting love. Lets go deeper into Life, Jesus. He promises to meet our needs and we may have to wait but He is worth the wait. Life means dying. I have to die to what I think I need. Jesus died that He might meet that need with Himself.

I posted this request a few days ago.  Many have prayed for me since then and I them.

You may wonder why I am so honest about my life, in such a high profile position in life, as with my husband.  There are many reasons but I want to tell you a few. One of the main reasons is I am tired...tired of pretending...pretending to be something I am not.  Tired of trying to live up to the expectations of the world, people, myself and even the church (as some might be)  I am tired of the lying that I can be and achieve only what God has preplanned for me.  I have discovered that the darkness cannot survive in the light.  I have come to see that others can be free to be honest with their struggles when we are.  I want opportunity to give God glory in my life.  I have found God loves to show Himself faithful in our weakness.  That He loves to meet me, us when we boast of our weakness for there He is glorified and our role is to depend on Him and not ourselves.  His strength is made perfect there.  But first we have to go to Him in our lying, our fake way of living, with our mask on and let Him disrobe us in order to cover us in His goodness, His love, His righteousness.  We have to learn what is not real in order to be able to believe what is truly real about us.  It is already so...we just don't believe it.  We don't live out of it.  We don't claim it.  Bathe in it.  Bask in it

I was a fake, too much of my life.  I won't go back.  I want to be real and show that Gods love and mighty power is real.  His promises are real and His love is real.  He is faithful to His children even when they are not.  I want to live in freedom and that is through being real about who I am and what God has done for me.

How can I be so real?  It is only by the grace of God of knowing how radically loved I am.  Also if I would put Christ on the cross with my sin and cause Him the pain and suffering and humiliation I did how can I not be honest about what He did for me, in dying for me, to give me wholeness, healing, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, grace and His love and so much more...relationship with Him, eternal life.  The list goes on and on...His righteousness is mine.  Whom shall I fear.  He is my strength.  He is the way, the truth and the life.

Although I am doing very well right now my plan is to go back to AA for awhile.  I don't know how long.  I love those people and I need them.  They are humble and broken and know that they need God.  I know Jesus, Father and Spirit are the answer.  That only in the Fathers love, the provision of the Son and the work of the Spirit in my life, do I have hope.

My hope is not to just not drink wine.  But not to run to other things for life.  To have and experience the abundant life Jesus promises.  It is where I am here and now.  In or out of my struggles He is the life.  It is in and through relationship with Him.  The Lord is enough...pretty much, what you see is what you get.  I am done and as my daughter use to say...it is what it is.  God is enough.  Lord please give me the faith to live honest and out of what is already mine.

I have seen that it is not wrong to want to go deeper with Jesus.  It is not wrong to hunger and thirst for Him but we need to be content at the same time with where He has us and what He is doing and giving us right here and now.  He is enough.  I am content with even my lack of contentment at times because I know the way back home.  My place of rest, Jesus, the Father and Spirit.  Through the finished work of Christ for me so I don't have to strive to be something I am not any longer.  I am free to be me.  Me in Christ.

This was shared by Rick Thomas at Counseling Solutions...Admittedly, I don’t deserve to be a child of God and I don’t deserve to be free of sin’s guilt and power. I don’t deserve the staggering privilege of intimacy with God, nor any other blessing that Christ has purchased for me with His blood. 

I don’t even deserve to be useful to God. But by the grace of God I am what I am and I have what I have, and I hereby resolve not to let any portion of God’s grace prove vain in me! - The Gospel Primer

Hard Story...My Peace I give to you

1. John 14:27Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
2. Philippians 4:7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
   
   

   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   I am going to write you a hard story that came to me out of the blue today while spending time with the Lord. I will change the names and circumstances to protect my friend.
   
   I had a very close friend at one time. Her name was Angelia. From the worlds eyes Angelia had all the world could offer. She had a loving husband and two lovely children, Bryan and Shelia. Our kids use to play together. We had a lot in common, Angelia and I. One thing we shared was our discontentment with those around us and our lives. My discontentment found comfort in hers.
   
   After several years, we went our separate ways. Then one day I found myself with the opportunity to get to meet and be with her. Many things had happened in our lives and much water under the bridge. We didn't talk too much about all that stuff but where we were then and there.
   
   She began talking to me about a grandchild of hers. It was a young girl. She had been married and divorce, had children of her own and seemed very troubled. I shared my story with her of my mental disorder and how there were signs with this young girl I would be concerned about. That maybe she too had mental issues that needed dealing with with a good doctor and counseling. Angelia did not want to hear what I had to say. She dismissed most of my conversation with her and went on to her discontentment and her lack of ability to change those in her life, once again after so many years.
   
   Several years passed and I heard from my friend, through a friend, that her granddaughter had committed suicide and she had been the one to find her. She was grieving as you would expect but blaming those around her for the instance and struggling to forgive. Still was still effortlessly trying with all that was in her to change those around her but was still left in her discontentment.
   
   Years later I heard my friend was not well. She had developed an even more serious heart problem than she had had when I knew her. I think it ran in her family. I wondered if the discontentment did also. Situations had changed but things seemed to be the same in her life. One tragedy after another.
   
   She use to tell me each time I would meet with her that God did not allow her to live on the mountain top because she did not know how. He kept her in the valley. I have thought a lot about that over the years. I know God is in control and my friend did develop a hard life but I wonder what was her valley. Was it the fact of hard circumstances or because she never was able to accept the life God had given her and trust Him with it. She loved her family and God dearly. We always had that in common. But there was no acceptance in her of her life, others and I wonder of God's work in her life.
   
   She died an early death. There was no evidence that I heard that she had ever become content. No evidence that she ever had peace and real joy. Although she smiled all the time it always seemed to be through her tears. I loved my friend. She was a good friend to me. Maybe I am just now grieving her death and her life, I don't know.
   
   I was so much like my friend. But by the grace of God I know a contentment and a joy that can only be found in him. My life still sucks at times. I hate it when those we love are struggling and in pain. I feel their pain. But by God's grace He has brought me to a place of loving people for who they really are. Accepting who He has allowed me to be and my struggles in life. Trusting God with peoples change and mine. I have a peace that passes all understanding that is only possible by the grace of God to me. The only thing I know to do to show God how thankful I am and how much I love Him is to write stories like this. Hard stories but ones that let you know their is a river and it flows through the heart of man that trust His God with all the life he has been allowed, the precious gift, that has been given.

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   
   Don't, me don't, you don't let this wonderful gift pass us by. Paul knew this joy while in prison and being beaten. Many knew this joy while being crucified and burned at the stake. Their is a joy that is beyond anything man can imagine. It is the Peace that passeth all understanding from trusting and loving God and others.
   
   My peace may go tomorrow when more hard things come but I know the way back home to my Father. I know how to go back to the arms of the one that died on the cross for me. When Christ was crucified the disciples were all discouraged and downtrodden. They couldn't see past the pain and the appearance of the circumstances of apparent defeat. It was the greatest victory that ever was. Life is bigger than we can see. God is at work in every circumstance in your life to bring about things you never imagined nor may understand until heaven. One thing I know you and I can trust Him even in those things and with those people we don't understand, events we don't understand and maybe even like. But there is something about accepting them and what has happened as from a loving God. God is good and displayed that love by sending His One and only Son to died on the cross for you and me to give us eternal life with Him. How would He hold back goodness, His goodness from you and me. Seek Him. He will be found. Fight to rest in His finished work for you. Don't give up and give in like I did. Press on, wait, persevere and trust God to His glory. If you need to pray for the faith you need. He will answer. If you have the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains because it is not how much faith you have but who you have faith in. Trust Him. He can be trusted. He is trustworthy.