No Strings Attached

                                                 No Strings Attached

Well Mom our day is coming, Sunday, Mothers Day.  We all want to be loved and appreciated.  The last words I spoke to my Mom before she died was what a wonderful Mother she had been and how much I loved her.  My daughter wrote a post the other day about how much she appreciated me.  Even before then I began to question my motive for caring for and trying to be such a good mother to my children.  The Spirit was working in my heart.  Then my mentor mentioned strings and Paul Tripp wrote an article today about the Idol of Appreciation.  I knew that was me.  My heart was so thrilled to hear my daughter write of her amazement at what I did effortless seemingly.  Why is that?

What happens to my heart when I don't get the appreciation I think I so deserve.  Someone said you don't know an alcoholic until you take away the alcohol.  When I don't get the response I think I deserve from my children where does my peace and joy go?  

I use to always feel guilty because I couldn't go home like I wanted.  What about when they don't come home as much as you would like?  What if their words criticize you?  What if they don't do the things for you, you hoped they would?  What if they don't turn out like you planned and not appreciating their parents?

Are there strings attached to my serving and loving my family.  Do I do to get them to do what I want?  What manipulate, who me?  What is the condition of my heart?  What am I serving ultimately.  Who ultimately is doing the serving through me.  Am I doing it to the glory to God or to me?  Am I doing it because I love God or because I want, what I want, when I want it?  The praise of man.

God create in me a clean heart and renew a right Spirit within me.  The older I get the more I see this Christian life is impossible for me to live.  God calls us to do the impossible.  Not only are we called to cooperate with what He is doing but He lives it through us.  We love, serve and minister to our family and others because it is Him doing the ministering, the loving through us.  We are giving each other Jesus.  We are His hands, His feet.  It is His compassion through His heart.  We have the words and the very mind of Christ going out to others.  It is Christ in us, the hope of His magnificent glory.

Bonded Hearts

It had been 30 years. She called. She would see me tomorrow. I was a little anxious. We had been friends but not particularly close. What could God be doing to bring us together after all this time? She was always so together, beautiful with a precious child. I didn't look the same. My beauty of outward appearance had changed, 17 years of a mental disorder has worn on my body. Beauty had always been so important to me. It was something I could do, be beautiful. I realize this and pray often for an inner beauty that is Christ in me. I got a couple of friends to pray for our time together and my heart.

She knocked on the door. She was as beautiful as ever. She had aged gracefully and not a pound heavier. For a moment my flesh compared the tremendous change in me and hardly any in her.

We went into the family room. She didn't notice the flowers I had picked nor was hungry for the fruit and cookies I had frantically made. Was I still trying to impress people or was I wanting her to feel Christ in my home and welcome? I am not really sure. She had just eaten and was ready to visit. She made me feel relaxed and comfortable as she gazed right into my eyes. It was as if she could see into my very heart.

We began to share our stories back and forth as a rhythm. The path we both had been on had been an equally hard one. We noted how we had both thought the other one had things all together. How no one truly has life together all their life, it is just an illusion. As we continued in this dance I could see Gods faithfulness to her through her difficult times, the blessing of a wonderful daughter, who I have also become acquainted with recently and have come to love, a precious grandchild and one on the way, a loyal husband and the blessings of her son-in-law. God had brought beauty out of ashes in her life and in mine.

I told her as glamorous as my life had been I would not go back. I appreciated the opportunities and the people in my past life but I was not the same. That I had come to know the relentless, radical, passionate love of God as I had never known it before.

She got ready to leave and I was sorry to see her go. Our hearts had bonded and had been revealed. I know her better now in the time we spent together than the five years I had known her in times past. Our time together had been rich and full. I hope to see her again and to stay in touch somehow even though we didn't make any plans. It may even be through her daughter, who knows. My faith had grown and strengthened being with her that day. God is full of blessings and surprises. What joy she left in my heart to just be with her and Jesus in our midst.

Can You Receive?

Matt 7:11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

I have been in hard suffering for about 17 years. I am not by any means perfect but I know the way home before dark. I have many days of peace and joy. God is bringing so many blessings my way. I think I don't deserve this. When is the other shoe going to drop? Does God truly love me this much to bless me in such a plentiful way? Yes I know even the suffering is a blessing but we can get where our pain has more power in our eyes than God and His goodness.

Last week I went on a hike with a new friend. As we walked through the trail to the water fall she began to point out tiny little wild flowers to me. Some were hidden under leaves. Some we facing down. She would take her hand lift their heads and tell me the names of each and every one. I posted some pictures of these beautiful creations. I thought apart from her I would not have even seen these tiny little thoughts of God.

About that time a man with his walking stick came rushing by us. He said in passing, "I bet this is pretty in the fall". I told my friend, "he has not seen the first wild flower".

The closer we got to the waterfall the more plentiful the flowers were. The more lush the green was. We got to this magnificent water fall. I took lots of pictures and all I could do was sit down on a huge rock and worship, the God who is our Living Water. What a magnificent day it was.

Do you see God in the tiny things of this world. They are huge. He is revealing HImself in everything everywhere. It is His creation. Just as you learn of an artist by his painting and a writer by his book so you learn about God in His creation. Look for Him. He is there.

The Freedom Fighters

I have a group of friends, we call ourselves the Freedom Fighters. We not only fight for our own freedom but the freedom of each other. We got together yesterday in one of our homes. This is how this works.

We get together and begin to be open and honest with each other. We laugh together. We shed a few tears. We share our struggles and our joys. We talk about books and articles we have read. We talk about people God is bringing into our lives without mentioning any names but we testify to what God is doing. As we are together the Spirit begins to work in each of us. We see things in each other we could not see on our own. We confess our sins. We talk about how God uses even our sin for good. How it is all of grace that God loves us and uses us. We talk about scripture that speaks to where we all are. The gospel comes into play.  We are iron sharpening iron. We are the body of Christ. We not only are in fellowship with each other but with God. We are setting each other free.

We end up in all praying together. We thank the Spirit for being with us. We thank God and praise Him for what He has done in each of us and for His presence. We pray blessing and lift each other up. We pray for our families and people in our life.

We leave each other strengthen and ready to fight the battles in our life. Our weakness and strengths have spoken into each others hearts. We have a power to love difficult people and to move out in new and exciting ways. We are renewed and the fire within our bellies is relit. We leave in peace and joy and freedom. We have met with God and with each other. We decided we would meet more regularly and we would invite others.

It is a beautiful thing when the body of Christ comes together and our Spirits testify with each other. We were one in Christ and we had united.

Where is your comfort, your refuge?

This is my notes on an article written by Rick Thomas on why we run from one thing to another to find comfort. This is a false gospel or an idol in our lives. We think of idols as something people had long ago but actually we have idols we look to do for us what only Christ can do for us, meet our needs. These idols can even be good things. Here are my notes.

The counselee was a man who was caught up in the internet sin and stopped that and then gained 30 pds. These are the things the counselor helped him with and the Spirit worked in His heart.

The soul that is not at rest needs an occasion to escape to a place from running our own world.

Control - The person who is needing to control a situation does not fully trust God.

Comfort - We seek comfort, rest, security and peace in something besides God. This is our comfort zone. We fight to maintain control because we don't want to lose our comfort.

fear - insecure. Low grade of insecurity motivates us to find comfort or security in things other than God.

unbelief - The biggest idol of them all and the one which leads our fears, which motives us to crave comfort and which motivates us to seize control was unbelief. This man had an unhealthy fear of God. He would never have admitted it but he had to see it.

TASTE AND SEE THE LORD IS GOOD-He saw the corruptness of his soul and how he had been in a slumber as in his relationship to God for years. He renewed his mind in who God is. God is not safe but He is good. He will challenge us in many ways but will not harm us.

The man began to have a distaste for the things of this world, cravings for personal comfort and control. He became bibically risky in the Lord. We begin to trust God in ways we never have before.

Our refuge is in prayer, bible reading, honest conversations.

We have a servants heart, we spread the love of God to others in tangible ways.

Question-Is God first and satisfying or are we finding refuge and in other things?  When things happen, when you are upset or your world is falling apart where do you run, to what for comfort?  Jesus is our comforter....

Be A Risk Taker

I was just thinking I guess I have gone from making my whole life about control, trying to make things change to being cynical, thinking things will never change. There is a third way I know. It has got to be about Christ and staying with life and loving no matter what the results. I have begun this journey but want to grow in deepening my love for people and life. 

My way has been the way of escape from business, to studying, denial, to depression, sleeping, isolation, to being in a daze and addiction. I even suspect my motives with being God are colored with a heart of wanting to be anywhere but in reality. Anywhere life does not hurt me or that I feel no pain.

This life is full of pain, suffering and heartache. Can I embrace life and all it has for me? Can I return the embrace of my Abba with my joys, delights, questions, anger, fear, pain, even cynicism... for comfort, forgiveness, answers, faith, pleasure, peace, joy, and intimacy of hearts. Can I say come Lord, God come and stop running? Instead of looking at my life like a mine field, look at it as a wonderful gift of opportunity and miracles of me changing and loving others just where and who they are, as my Father loves me, no matter what tomorrow may bring.

I wouldn't give anything for my communion with God but He wants it to be continual and my prayers never ceasing. He wants to be one with me in my body and His Spirit and to keep growing in knowing His reckless, beautiful love where He risk it all for me.

"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing." C.S.Lewis

Freedom of the Gospel

For some 17 years now I have been frozen. I was afraid to make a decision afraid I would make a wrong one. This maybe a bit extreme for you but are you afraid of sinning so afraid you don't attempt to follow Christ. Afraid you will do the wrong thing? I told a friend yesterday to make a decision and make the wrong one is better than making no decision at all. God uses all things for good. Martin Luther said,
“Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly.”
Grace is free and abundant. Live in the freedom of the gospel my friend.