My Journey Back Home~

It has been a long, hard, joyous road since my last post.  I went through Lent, extreme.  I did not take my meds correctly for a long time.  I had the worse psychotic break I ever have had.  I am not speaking of the consequences of it but the trauma to my heart and soul.  I saw the magnification of heavens glories and hells terrors.  We are in a battle for the minds.  Mine was safe an secure because of God, my loving Father.  His Son.  And the Holy Spirit.  I needed my family and as always they were there for me with the security and care that only they could give me at such a difficult time as I happened to be in.

I went to my daughters to heal.  She kept me from going to the hospital.

My doctor says I am a miracle.

I just wanted you to know God can use anything He chooses to give you a heart for your family and for Him.  I began Lent seeing things had captured my heart.  God used my sickness for me to spend time with my wonderful other daughter who I know more now than I ever have.  All my children have helped me and are such a gift to a mother.

Mothers Day was wonderful.  I got such thoughtful, meaningful,  beautiful gifts from my girls.  I was  treated like a queen by my daughters.  A lovely diner with my son, his girlfriend and her mom.  I so love those people.  My oldest daughter has a lovely home and cooked the most delicious meal.  We all had such a good time.  She took care of me for months.  Now thats a mothers dream to be cared for in her old age by her children.  She is a delight.  Such great memories there with her.

So I am just posting a hello.  Thanks for still checking in here.  I don't know where the blog is headed.  I would love to do one different but lack the help in making that happen right now.  So I will post here my plans when I know more.

Go back and read other post if you will.  I do pray for God to keep your heart encouraged.  One of my heroes is my daughter at our home.  She encourages me so to keep doing the hard thing with joy.

My other daughter counseled me with her counseling wisdom and gave me more than she will ever know by letting me into her heart and home for almost two weeks.  I hope to keep visiting.  I want to continue to be with my daughters friends, neighbors, in my children's hearts and homes.  To even spend some more quality time with my son.  He is a great thinker.  All my children know the makings of a person so well.  Only God can teach that.  It is an intuition.  A God given gift my children have.

My son has also been so good to me.  He lives on the farm also with us in another house.  He has helped his dad so very much.  My husband couldn't keep up the farm in the manner in which he does without my son.

I have spent time with my grandson.  Now there is a girl heart breaker lol.  Seriously he has a precious girlfriend whom we all love.  I got to spend time with her and she is so good for my grandson.  He is a great farm worker and baseball player.  I love that guy.  He is gorgeous and loves his mom and me too even lol.  We have great talks and hope he will come to the farm soon just to hang.

So from Ford  Farm's porch... our home to yours.  Don't let a day go by you don't encourage your children and husband. This is why I want to write now.  I want to be a better wife, mother and friend to my family.  I am ready to open my heart to them without reservations.  To guard my heart against my own sin and repent when I mess up.

There is an angel watching over you and me and it is our own children.   Ask the Father to speak to you in the illumination of your mind... His great love for you.  Pray for your husband and children daily when you can't sleep.  I will, God willing, be writing on ways I have learned to take time for me and relax and rest in Gods love for me.  I realized these things through one of the most difficult times in my life.

God has a plan for our lives and we can't mess it up.  I suppose we can make it hard on ourselves but even that He uses for our good and His glory.  So be strengthen in the might and power of the Lord to keep on doing the hard thing with joy.  Know!  He takes great delight in YOU~

Lent, See you soon, Easter.

Hey friends you guys are so faithful to come to read in hopes of learning more about God.  I consider it an honor to write here for His glory.

I wanted you to know I am in the midst of Lent.  One of the things I have given up during this time is blogging.

I don't know if I will return here yet or to a new website.  I am seeking help with this and the Spirits direction.

Lent is our awareness of how little we are in control.  That God is truly sovereign.

Also I was aware that there were things that had captured my heart away from my family and my God.  I loved other things more than I should... lets say. Even good things like our marriage, our husbands, children and jobs and ministry can be an idol for us.  We go to them to give us what only Jesus can.  Such as significance, worth, comfort, love and acceptance.  We are afraid of rejection and pain.

 I have surrendered these things to God in hopes of giving Him more of my heart.  In turn inviting my family into closer and more personal relationships with me and Him.  Sometimes there is a lot of pain in giving these idols of our hearts up.  The christian world calls it dying to self.  It is self denial.

In hopes that Christ will be center of our lives is our goal.  Worship!  That we will seek His will not ours.  It is a surrendering to God, all that I have and all that I am.  Only when Jesus is the most important thing to me can I love another person selflessly.  The stakes are high and the demands on us is total surrender. His surrender.  It is identifying with Jesus on the cross.  He gave it all up for you and me.  This is not just Lent.  But a life we continually learn to live through suffering ultimately.

Can't wait to get on with what He has for us.  But now I am feasting at His table and loving it.  Things can be hard in our lives.  The peace and contentment and joy that is in the Lord is unconditional to me.  It comes in trusting in Christ alone.  It comes through repentance and faith. Then I am able to surrender the things that has my heart.

Our conscious are troubled if we are in rebellion to God.  Our conscious are bothered if we are in disobedience to God.  Until we confess and He brings us to repentance.  Just as I am now over writing this blog.  I have already posted in ways I cannot change.  So I am asking Him to use it and to show me more of my wayward heart to the things of this world.  Even the good things.

When we are convicted in our hearts and confess.  We ask Him to bring us to repentance.  To reconciliation with Him and others.  Our sin, turning to ourselves instead of God, keeps us from drawing near to Him.  Repentance is Him drawing us back and our response to turn to Him once again.  It is a life of dying and living.

A repentant, struggling sinner is always welcome at the table.

We settle for crumbs many times and not the elaborate banquet celebration diner, that He has set before us. With other dignified and honors guest. Sinners saved by grace. Just like me. Saints shinning with His glory, that is so bright.  It is beyond us to behold the glow. His glory is breath taking and the presence of the Spirit is all beautiful. We are enveloped in a love.  It is divine and magnificent and eternal. The places are set. The feast is being served. All we have to do is eat.  The goodness of our Lord and what He has prepared for us in this life and after. It is a fulfillment, a sustaining satisfaction.  Nothing of this world can fathom or deliver.

Blessings friends. Pray for me please as I am on the journey with Christ. My prayers go with you all. That we love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. And our neighbor, including our enemies ,as ourselves.  That we acknowledge Him as Lord with out lips and how we live.  So others will see our lives and worship HIm.

Wash me and I will be clean. Whiter than snow.

My daughter's house.

I love, when it snows.  I don't know where I was exactly, but without warning.  Somewhere on my way between home and the store, large white glistening flakes began to fall.   I was excited and continued into the store with the thoughts that we could be house bound for a couple of days.  Just the walk from my car to the store was like a winter wonder fairy land.  I loved it.  I felt the cold melting on my face and I took a deep inhale of life.

By morning the farm was breath taking.  One reason I love the snow is because of taking pictures.  I had hoped all of us at the farm,  could gather in the snow in the afternoon.  My husband knew of my plans and he said, if you want to get those pictures you better go ahead.  The snow is melting fast.


As I approached the other side of the farm, I began to pray...Lord let me see your beauty.  Let me see with your eyes.  The snow is melting and I don't see it.

 I parked the car and walked around with my camera, scripture began to come to my mind.  Then roll off of my tongue.  I was singing and worshiping God, to Him, in the most beautiful moments.  It was moments I won't soon forget.  Time seemed to stand still.

It came to me in the mindfulness of it all...That is what we are.  We are washed whiter than snow.  We are the new fallen snow.  These truths sank deep within my being and brought such happiness and freedom.  All I could do was experience the truth I knew to be true.  Tears began to stream down my cheeks.  It was such a epiphany.  I hesitated and drew it all in rhythm .  All  at once I was fully known and fully loved.  Such a joy came over me.


I took a quick glance down the drive, stood and focused.  It was muddy, dirty and messy.  It was hard on my heart and my imagination. The beauty that I saw just a short while ago seemed to have vanished before my eyes.  The snow was melting away.  Somehow in the ugliness I was captured, but in another way.  The scenery I had just froze in time, within my camera, moments later, was gone.

How quickly we forget... who we really are "in Christ".  The thought of being forgiven makes no real impact and brings no relief or change in our lives.  No freedom.  No joy and peace and contentment.

When our hearts begin to receive all God has for us in Christ...We begin to know and see who we really are.  Who God created us to be.  Our love is becoming perfected.  We sense a true caring for others more than ourselves.  The chains fall off and we began to take risk we have never taken before.
Gods will becomes ours.  His love for His people and us become ours for Him and others.  We take on the beauty of our Creator in fresh, new confession and repentance and faith.  It is a life long journey of knowing and understanding what Christ has done for us at Calvary.  But we begin to see evidence of these things.  The person of Christ lives through us.  We grasp a taste of what we truly mean to Him and how very much He cares.  That He is so for us.

I can only worship and trust my God who is full of mercy who has brought me to this place in my life time of loving Him.  He has breathed life into these dry bones.  Rescued me over and over again from death itself.  He has brought order in my confused world.  Only He can bring goodness out of me.

When we believe the lies that we do not have purpose and are not loved.  The dirt, guilt and shame of our once, delighted in selves, take over.  We forget the promises God has made to us.  We forget our inheritance.  That we will reign with Christ.  That all He has is shared with us.  Even His glory is to be manifested in us.  Our Heavenly Father loves us as He loves His own Son.  His very Spirit dwells within us never to leave.


We must remind each other of the good news of the Gospel.  That Christ died for sinners.  That we are righteous...His perfect life is ours and our sin is His.  We are a new creation.  We have a new heart and the mind of Christ. He is praying for us. It is finished.  It is completed.  We are delighted and loved.  All we have to do is believe within hearts.  Live it out through each and every day, in the power of the Spirit.  That others may worship Him.

This is what I saw on that Day!

Off with the old, on with the new!

Good morning!  I have been really busy with my time away from blogging.  I believe God is giving me some direction in the way I am to go here.  I am excited and just want to follow through and see what God is up to.

Just some thoughts...

I have had some wonderful teachers and preachers in my life.  I still look to them all and will continue to do so but...I have realized that the Spirit is my teacher.  There are lots of things I have thought about in the past.  I felt like scripture lined up with it.  But it might not be the norm.  

What I have wondered is how much our society has made up laws for us to live by.  Some of it seems to me to be a day and age thing.  I will explain later but I hope this will set some of us free to love God and love others better.

I want you to feel free to disagree with me.  For sure I do not know alway the right thing and the right way so we need each other.  I would love your comments on what you are seeing in the scripture and lets wrestle with it a while.

Another day...

One other thing I would like to talk about is how to love our husbands and our children.  How to allow the Lord to build our home.  The next thought may run into this one.  How to make our house a home.  How to do hospitality and not just entertain.

I want to be more creative this year...

 I want to do a little fresh look to my living area and not spend a lot of money.  I have some thoughts and have been on the computer and magazines and praying just the direction to go.

I want to give some before and after pictures and see which way to go.  I would love your thoughts.

And then...

Being more creative this year is going to be a stretch for me because I am not necessarily creative by nature.  But I believe it is good for my mind and soul to be so.

We might cover ways to serve others.  Crafts.  Time alone with the Lord.  I might just share pictures and or give thoughts the Lord is giving me about some new to do in my day.  Again I would love to hear from you.

We might visit some homes of my friends.  Share with you their homes, ideas and creativity.  How they spend their time with the Lord and friends and family.  It will not to be to show off pretty homes although some maybe.  But it will be there place to meet with the Lord.  Their cozy spots, comfort zones for them and friends.  It maybe a wonderful family room or it maybe a walk in the woods or a swing on a porch or a rock or flowers they sit by; their kitchen and cooking ideas.  It maybe their ministry or place they work.  Thing God has taught them and how He has met them in the struggle and pain.  Their joys and delights.  Their own gifts and creativity God has given them.  I really don't know.  Lets just see what God does.

I would love to have a new blog.  Right now I do not have the resources but would you pray that God would do that if it is in His plan.  I have thought a lot about this.  I would like for the title to be something like "Home is where Gods heart is".  I have also thought about "Home is where our heart is".  I would love any suggestions.  Be creative here to.  Think spark and spunk!

So we will see how it goes.  I am not sure when to start or how to.  So I need prayer for that too.  Please pass the word and invite other women to come along.  You men are invited.  I would love to have your opinions and give some to your wife or girlfriend.  But this is mostly going to be to women.

We need each other.  To teach, encourage and to give truth in love to one another.  I cannot do this without you and the Spirit so pitch in.  Any extra ideas you might enjoy reading or any gifts you might have to share please do and come along.  

Can't wait to hear from you and the Lord...

I am praying God will take what little I have in my hand and multiply it.  That He will bring His goodness and mercy and blessing through this to many.  That the gospel will go forth in the power it is.  That I would be obedient to where He is leading.  That you might find great joy in it and in Him through this adventure.